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In mourning, one should only look at the deceased but not answer; in mourning of the same age, one should answer but not speak; in mourning of the great merit, one should speak but not discuss; in mourning of the minor merit, one should discuss but not enjoy music. This is the expression of grief in speech.
The Book of Songs says: "Look at the Qi Bay, the bamboos are lush. There is a gentleman who is as sharp as a knife and as polished as a jade. He is solemn and majestic, and he is loud and noisy. A gentleman who is not loud and noisy in the end." "As sharp as a knife" means Taoism. "As polished as a jade" means self-cultivation. "Stern and graceful" means modesty. "Brilliant and loud" means majesty. "A gentleman who is not loud and noisy in the end" means that the Tao is prosperous and the virtue is the best, which people cannot forget. The Book of Songs says, "Ah, the former kings are not forgotten!" The gentleman honors the virtuous and loves his relatives, while the villain enjoys his pleasure and benefits from his benefits. This is why he never forgets. The Kanggao says, "Be able to make your virtues clear." The Dajia says, "Look back at the clear mandate of heaven." The Didian says, "Be able to make your virtues clear." They are all self-evident. The Pan Inscription of Tang says, "If you are new every day, you will be new every day, and you will be new every day." The Kanggao says, "Be a new citizen." The Book of Songs says, "Although Zhou is an old country, its mandate is to be renewed." Therefore, a gentleman will do everything to the utmost. The Book of Songs says: "The borders of the state are a thousand miles, and the people live there." The Book of Songs says: "The yellow bird of the wild land rests on the corner of the hill." Confucius said: "If one knows where to rest, how can one be a human being and not be like a bird?" The Book of Songs says: "The King Wen is dignified and respectful!" As a ruler, one should be kind; as a minister, one should be respectful; as a son, one should be filial; as a father, one should be kind; as a friend to the people, one should be trustworthy. Confucius said: "When hearing a lawsuit, I am just like everyone else. I must make sure there are no lawsuits!" The heartless cannot speak their mind, and they are greatly afraid of the people's will. This is called knowing the root".
It is the festival of a boy. The black cloth clothes are brocade-edged, the brocade belt, and the button brocade, and the hair is all red brocade. Boys do not wear fur or silk, shoes or silk, and do not wear mourning clothes. Listening to affairs does not require hemp. If there is no business, he will stand to the north of the host and see the teacher enter with others. Those who serve food to the teacher with different titles will offer sacrifices later and eat first. When the guest offers sacrifices, the host declines and says, "It is not enough to offer sacrifices." When the guest eats, the host declines with a sparse. If the host prepares his own sauce, the guest will clean it himself. In a room, one person who is not a guest should clean up. In a meal, one person should clean up. In banquets, women should not clean up. When eating dates, peaches, and plums, do not take the core. When offering melons, throw away the rings in the middle of the food. Those who eat fruits should eat after the gentlemen, and those who light the fire should eat before the gentlemen. In celebrations, do not congratulate unless the king gives gifts. Confucius ate at Ji's house, and did not refuse. He did not eat meat and ate.
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