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When Ruan Bubing lost his mother, Pei Linggong went to offer condolences. Ruan Fang was drunk, sat on the bed with his hair loose, and did not cry. Pei arrived, sat on the ground, cried and mourned, and then left. Someone asked Pei, "In a condolence ceremony, the host cries and the guests perform the rituals. Since Ruan didn't cry, why did you cry?" Pei said, "Ruan is an outsider, so he doesn't respect rituals. We are ordinary people, so we take rituals as our own." People at that time sighed that he had achieved the best of both worlds.
Wang Dongting's conversation with Xiaobo gradually became different. Xiao Bo said to Dong Ting: "You are unpredictable!" He replied: "Wang Ling argued in the court, Chen Ping remained silent, but I only want to know how to win in the end."
The rituals for women are established to make it clear that women are obedient, and they are also explained in order, so that women are required to be obedient. A submissive woman is obedient to her uncles and aunts, and harmonious with the family members; then she is responsible to her husband, and completes the affairs of silk, linen, cloth and silk, and carefully guards the accumulation and storage. Therefore, only when women are obedient can the family be harmonious and orderly; only when the family is harmonious and orderly can the family last long; therefore, the sage kings attach great importance to it.
When the husband of an aunt or sister dies, and there are no brothers in the husband's party, let the husband's family members take charge of the funeral. The wife's party, even if they are close, do not take charge. If the husband has no family, then the front and back families, the east and west families; if there is none, then the village Yin will take charge. Some say: take charge, and attach to the husband's party.
Zisi's mother died in Wei, and he went to Zisi, and Zisi cried in the temple. When the disciples came, they said, "Shu's mother died, why did you cry in Confucius' temple?" Zisi said, "I was wrong, I was wrong." Then he cried in another room.
Zengzi said: "The filial son provides for the elderly by making his heart happy and not violating his will, making his ears and eyes happy, making his bed comfortable, and providing him with food and drink. The filial son who is loyal to the parents provides for the whole life. The whole life is not the whole life of the parents, but the whole life of the parents. Therefore, the parents also love what they love and respect what they respect. This is true even for dogs and horses, let alone humans!" Regarding the provision of elderly care, the Five Emperors had regulations and the Three Kings had requests for advice. The Five Emperors followed the rule of nurturing the spirit and not asking for advice. If they did something good, they would record it as a dunshi. The Three Kings also followed the rule of nurturing the elderly and then asking for advice. They also did not follow the etiquette and all had dunshi.
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