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Zeng Zi asked: "What should be done if there is a funeral? What comes first and what comes later?" Confucius said: "In the funeral, the light is first and then the heavy; the offering is first and then the light; it is a ritual. From the beginning to the funeral, there is no offering, and there is no mourning during the funeral; after the funeral, there is an offering, and then say goodbye to the funeral, and then do the funeral. The funeral is first heavy and then light, which is a ritual." Confucius said: "Even if the son of the clan is seventy, there is no one without a mistress; if he is not a son of the clan, it is okay even if he has no mistress."
When Taifu Xie had not yet come of age and had just left for the west, he went to see Changshi Wang and had a long and clear conversation with him. After he left, Gou Zi asked, "How respectful is Xiangke?" The chief secretary said, "Xiangke is so noisy that he is coming to force people."
Xie Youyu said to Zhou Hou: "You are like a tree of the altar. From a distance, you can see it is majestic and touching the blue sky. But when you look at it closely, you can see that its roots are supported by foxes, and there is nothing but chaos below!" He replied: "The branches are touching the blue sky, but that does not make you feel high; the foxes are making a mess below, but that does not make you feel dirty. You are protecting the chaos, so how can you boast of yourself?"
A gentleman is one who is well-informed, strong in knowledge, and humble, and who is kind and not lazy. A gentleman does not exhaust people's favors or exhaust people's loyalty, but maintains friendship.
Duke Ai asked Ru Bei to learn the funeral rites of scholars from Confucius, and the funeral rites of scholars were written there. Zigong watched the wax. Confucius asked, "Are you happy?" He replied, "All the people in the country are crazy, and I don't know how to be happy!" Confucius said, "A hundred days of wax and a day of radiance are not what you know. If you stretch without relaxing, civil and military officials cannot do it; if you relax without stretching, civil and military officials cannot do it. Tension and relaxation are the way of civil and military officials."
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