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Wrongly Entering a Wealthy Family: Husband, Don’t Touch Me

During the funeral of Duke Dao, Ji Zhaozi asked Meng Jingzi, "What should the monarch eat?" Jingzi said, "Eating porridge is the most common etiquette in the world. The fact that we three ministers cannot live in the public office has been heard by everyone in the four directions. If I try hard to be poor, then I can do it. Wouldn't it make people suspect that I live in poor conditions without emotion? I will eat."

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Yin Zhongjun said to Han Taichang: "Kang Bo has always been a proud figure since he was young, but he is actually a leader among his peers. When he speaks, his words are often full of emotion."

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In all ways of governing people, nothing is more urgent than ritual. There are five classics of ritual, and nothing is more important than sacrifice. Sacrifice is not something that comes from the outside, but something that comes from the heart; the heart is afraid and respects it with ritual. Therefore, only the wise can fully fulfill the meaning of sacrifice. When a wise man offers sacrifice, he will surely receive blessing. This is not what the world calls blessing. Blessing means preparation; preparation is the name of a hundred obediences. Those who are obedient in everything are called prepared. It means that one should be devoted to oneself internally and obedient to the Way externally. A loyal minister serves his lord, and a filial son serves his parents. The root of this is the same. Obedient to the gods above, obedient to the lord externally, and filial to the parents internally. This is called preparation. Only the wise man can be prepared, and only when he is prepared can he offer sacrifice. Therefore, the sacrifice of the wise man is to show his sincerity and loyalty, to offer him things, to guide him with etiquette, to comfort him with music, and to participate in the time. It is clear and that is all. Do not seek to do it. This is the heart of the filial son. Offering sacrifice is to commemorate and continue the filial piety. Filial piety means nurturing. Obeying the Way and not going against the ethics is called nurturing. Therefore, when a filial son serves his parents, there are three ways: nurturing when they are alive, mourning when they are dead, and offering sacrifice after the mourning. In raising a child, we observe his obedience; in mourning, we observe his sorrow; in offering sacrifices, we observe his respect and timing. Those who fulfill these three ways are filial sons. After doing their best internally, they also seek help from outside, which is the wedding ceremony. Therefore, the king of a country takes the wife's words: "Please share my humble city with your daughter and serve the ancestral temple and the altar of the country." This is the basis of seeking help. In sacrifices, the husband and wife must be close to each other, so as to prepare the external and internal officials; if the officials are prepared, everything is complete. The pickled water grass, the minced meat of land products, and the small things are ready; the three animals are prepared for the sacrificial table, the fruits of the eight dishes are prepared, and the different insects, the fruits of the plants and trees, and the things of yin and yang are prepared. All the things born by heaven and the long things of the earth, as long as they can be offered, are all present, showing that everything is done. To use everything externally and to do one's best internally is the heart of sacrifice. Therefore, the emperor personally ploughs in the southern suburbs to share the prosperity; the queen raises silkworms in the northern suburbs to share the pure clothes. The princes ploughed in the eastern suburbs to share the prosperity; the ladies raised silkworms in the northern suburbs to share the crown and clothing. The emperor and the princes did not plough without him, and the queen and her wives did not plough without him. They should be sincere and honest. Sincerity is called perfection, and perfection is called respect. Only when respect is reached can one serve the gods. This is the way of offering sacrifices. When offering sacrifices in time, the gentleman is in order. The word "Qi" means to be in order. The one who is not in order is in order. Therefore, the gentleman is not in order unless he has a major event or is respectful. If he is not in order, he will not be on guard against things, and his desires will not be stopped. When he is about to be in order, he will guard against evil things, stop his desires, and his ears will not listen to music. Therefore, it is recorded in the book: "The one who is in order is not happy", which means that he dare not be distracted. If the heart is not careless, it must follow the way; if the hands and feet are not careless, they must follow the etiquette. Therefore, the gentleman's order is to concentrate on his wisdom and wisdom. Therefore, it takes seven days to disperse the order and three days to make it. The order is called order. Qi means the utmost wisdom, and only then can one communicate with the gods. Therefore, one day before the date, the palace minister stays with the lady, and the lady also disperses Qi for seven days and gathers Qi for three days. The king gathers Qi outside, and the lady gathers Qi inside, and then they meet in the Great Temple. The king stands in the east with a pure crown, and the lady stands in the east room with a deputy crown. The king holds the jade tablet and the naked corpse, and the great clan holds the jade tablet and the second naked corpse. When welcoming the sacrifice, the king holds the silk, and the ministers and officials hold the grass. The clan women hold the jar and follow the lady to offer the water. The king holds the phoenix knife and the lady offers the beans. This is called the closeness between husband and wife.