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The king does not name the concubines of the ministers, the great officials do not name the nephews and daughters of the ministers, and the scholars do not name the concubines of the family. The son of a lord or a minister dare not call himself "my son"; the son of a minister or a scholar dare not call himself "the heir so-and-so", nor dare to have the same name as the heir. If the lord asks a scholar to shoot and he fails, he should excuse himself on the grounds of illness, saying, "I am worried about carrying firewood." It is not polite to serve a gentleman without looking back.
The people of Wei believed that turtles were knowledgeable. Chen Ziche died in Wei. His wife and her family's senior officials planned to bury him alive with her. After the plan was finalized, Chen Zikang arrived and told her, "My master is ill and there is no one to take care of him. Please bury him alive with me." Zikang said, "Burying him alive with me is not a courtesy. Even if I do, who should take care of him like my wife and the prime minister? If I have to, I will do it. If I have to, I will let my two sons do it." So he did not do it.
After Xie Wan Shouchun was defeated, Jianwen asked Xi Chao: "Wan was defeated, why did you lose the feelings of your soldiers?" Chao said: "He wanted to distinguish between the wise and the brave because of his nature of leading by example."
After Huan Xuan returned from Yixing, he met Sima Taifu, who was already drunk and sat with many guests. He asked people, "Huan Wen wants to be a thief, what should we do?" Huan Xuan fell down and could not get up. Xie Jingzhong was the Chief Secretary at the time. He raised the plaque and replied, "The former Duke Xuanwu dismissed the ignorant and promoted the wise, and his achievements surpassed those of Yi and Huo. He judged the various opinions with the help of his wise judge." The Grand Tutor said, "I know! I know!" He then raised the cup and said, "Huan Yixing, let me offer you a drink." Huan came out to thank him.
Zu Shishao loved money when he was young, and Ruan Yaoji liked to wear shoes. They both managed their own things, but they did not judge their gains and losses. When someone visited the ancestor, he saw the items and property. When the guest arrived, the screen had not yet been fully screened. I put two small baskets and chopsticks behind my back and leaned over to block them, feeling unsatisfied. Someone who visited Ruan saw him blowing on his wax clogs, and he sighed and said, "I wonder how many pairs of clogs I should wear in my lifetime?" He looked relaxed. Then the winner was decided.
Morality, benevolence and righteousness cannot be achieved without propriety, and teaching and correcting customs cannot be achieved without propriety. When resolving disputes, do not make the decision without proper etiquette. The relationship between the ruler and his subjects, father and son, and brothers cannot be determined without propriety. When an official studies or serves a teacher, he should not be close to him without proper etiquette. When Ban Chao governs the army and takes office to enforce the law, he must act with propriety and dignity. Praying to temples and offering sacrifices to ghosts and gods are not polite, sincere or solemn. Therefore, a gentleman is respectful, frugal, and yielding in order to show courtesy. Parrots can speak, but they are still birds; orangutans can speak, but they are still animals. People nowadays are rude, even if they can speak, don’t they have the heart of beasts? Only animals are so undisciplined that fathers and sons live together. Therefore, the sages created rituals to teach people. Teach people to be polite and know how to distinguish themselves from animals.
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