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Confucian scholars dress moderately, move cautiously, show slowness when they are big and false when they are small, show authority when they are big and shame when they are small, and they are difficult to advance and easy to retreat, and they are like incompetent. Their appearance is like this.
In mourning, one should only look at the deceased but not answer; in mourning of the same age, one should answer but not speak; in mourning of the great merit, one should speak but not discuss; in mourning of the minor merit, one should discuss but not enjoy music. This is the expression of grief in speech.
When Xie Ziwei saw Xu Zijiang and his brothers, he said, "There are two dragons in the Pingyu Abyss." When he saw Xu Zizheng in his early twenties, he sighed and said, "A man like Xu Zizheng has the ability to make contributions to the country. He is upright and loyal, like Chen Zhongju; he is good at fighting evil and dismissing unworthy people, like Fan Mengbo."
As for the elderly care: You Yu clan used the banquet ceremony, Xia Hou clan used the feast ceremony, Yin people used the food ceremony, Zhou people improved and used them. In general, fifty people are cared for in the village, sixty people are cared for in the country, seventy people are cared for in the school, and they are extended to the princes. At eighty, they bow to the king's order, sit and sit twice, the blind are also like this, ninety people let others receive. Fifty people have different clothes, sixty people have meat, seventy-two meals, eighty people have delicacies, ninety people do not eat and sleep, and can eat and drink when they go out. Sixty years old system, seventy hours system, eighty months system, ninety days system, only the linen quilt is strung, and the system is not made until death. Five
Luo You was an official in Jingzhou, and Huan Xuanwu was the king's cavalry and carriage assembly. The friend came in and sat for a long time, then left. Xuanwu said, "You wanted to consult me 鈥嬧媋bout something, why did you leave so quickly?" He replied, "My friend heard that mutton is delicious, but he has never had the chance to eat it in his life, so he came here without asking. There is nothing to consult you about. Now I am full, so there is no need for you to stay." He showed no shame at all.
Zisi's mother died in Wei, and he went to Zisi, and Zisi cried in the temple. When the disciples came, they said, "Shu's mother died, why did you cry in Confucius' temple?" Zisi said, "I was wrong, I was wrong." Then he cried in another room.
When the king and the official are about to bury the deceased, they should offer condolences in the palace; when they leave, they should order the officials to lead the mourners, but they should stop after three steps. After three times, the king will leave; they should do the same in the morning and at the funeral. Those who are fifty years old and do not have carriages should not cross the border to offer condolences.
Confucian scholars live in a difficult place, sit up and stand respectfully, speak first and be honest, and act uprightly. They do not compete for the benefits of danger and ease on the road, and do not compete for the harmony of yin and yang in winter and summer. They love death and wait for it, and nourish their bodies and do things. They are like this in their preparation.
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