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Zeng Zi asked: "What should be done if there is a funeral? What comes first and what comes later?" Confucius said: "In the funeral, the light is first and then the heavy; the offering is first and then the light; it is a ritual. From the beginning to the funeral, there is no offering, and there is no mourning during the funeral; after the funeral, there is an offering, and then say goodbye to the funeral, and then do the funeral. The funeral is first heavy and then light, which is a ritual." Confucius said: "Even if the son of the clan is seventy, there is no one without a mistress; if he is not a son of the clan, it is okay even if he has no mistress."
Mian: Take the meat of cattle, sheep and pig, cut it into small pieces, and add rice; two parts rice and one part meat, and fry them together as bait.
When Ruan Ji's mother died, he enjoyed wine and meat in the presence of King Wen of Jin. Si Li He Zeng was also present and said, "Your Excellency is ruling the world with filial piety, but Ruan Ji is in a state of mourning and is seen drinking and eating meat in front of you. You should exile him overseas to correct the morals." King Wen said, "The successor to the throne is so disgraced, and you cannot share my sorrow. What's the point? Besides, drinking and eating meat when one is ill is a mourning custom!" Ji continued to drink and eat, looking calm.
The rituals for women are established to make it clear that women are obedient, and they are also explained in order, so that women are required to be obedient. A submissive woman is obedient to her uncles and aunts, and harmonious with the family members; then she is responsible to her husband, and completes the affairs of silk, linen, cloth and silk, and carefully guards the accumulation and storage. Therefore, only when women are obedient can the family be harmonious and orderly; only when the family is harmonious and orderly can the family last long; therefore, the sage kings attach great importance to it.
From benevolence, leading relatives, and going up to the ancestors, it is called light. From righteousness, leading ancestors, and going down to the ancestors, it is called heavy. One is light and the other is heavy, and the meaning is so.
When Taifu Xie was sailing eastward, a villain was guiding the boat, sometimes slowing down, sometimes speeding up, sometimes stopping, sometimes waiting, and also letting the boat go sideways, causing it to hit people and crash into the shore. The Duke did not reprimand him at first. People say that you are never angry or happy. I once accompanied my brother on his return from a funeral in the west. It was a rainy day and we were all drunk, so I couldn't do anything about it. The Duke then took the carriage pillar and hit the driver with a very loud and fierce sound. Water is calm and gentle in nature, but it rushes violently when it enters a narrow passage. The local people are well aware that in a remote and isolated place, it is impossible to preserve their purity.
Wang Changyu was a harmonious and docile person since he was young, and the prime minister loved him very much. Whenever the prime minister wanted to start a game of go, Changyu would press his finger and refuse to listen. The Prime Minister laughed and said, "How could you? It seems that we are related."
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