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When Ruan Bubing lost his mother, Pei Linggong went to offer condolences. Ruan Fang was drunk, sat on the bed with his hair loose, and did not cry. Pei arrived, sat on the ground, cried and mourned, and then left. Someone asked Pei, "In a condolence ceremony, the host cries and the guests perform the rituals. Since Ruan didn't cry, why did you cry?" Pei said, "Ruan is an outsider, so he doesn't respect rituals. We are ordinary people, so we take rituals as our own." People at that time sighed that he had achieved the best of both worlds.
Taifu Xie and Wang Wendu went to see Xi Chao together, but as time went by and Wang had not yet arrived, he wanted to leave. Xie said: "Can't you bear it for a moment for your life?"
Yang Gong returned to Luo, and Guo Yi was made the magistrate of Yewang. When Yang reached the border, he sent people to retrieve him. Guo then went there by himself. After seeing him, he sighed and said, "Why should Uncle Yang reduce Guo Taiye!" He went to Yang Xu again and brought back a small amount of money. He sighed again and said, "Uncle Yang is far away from people!" After Yang left, Guo saw him off for a whole day, traveling hundreds of miles in one go, and then he resigned from his post and left the country. He sighed again and said, "Why should Uncle Yang be inferior to Yan Zi?"
General Lu went to Prime Minister Wang to consult on matters, but he would change his mind afterwards. The prince was surprised by this and later asked Lu about it. Lu said: "You are superior to the people and inferior to them. At the time, I didn't know what to say, but later I realized that it was not right."
Confucius said: "How does an archer shoot? How does he listen? He who follows the sound and shoots without missing the target is only a virtuous man! How can an unworthy man hit the target?" The Book of Songs says: "Shoot what he has, in order to pray for your wine." Pray means to ask; to ask for the target and refuse the wine is to refuse the wine. Wine is used to nourish the elderly and to cure illness; to ask for the target and refuse the wine is to refuse nourishment.
Establishing power and measurement, examining articles, changing the calendar, changing the color of clothes, distinguishing emblems, different tools, and different clothes, these are what he obtains and changes with the people. There are some things that cannot be changed: loving one's relatives, respecting the elders, and distinguishing between men and women. These are things that cannot be changed with the people.
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