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Xu Shizhong and Gu Sikong were both assistants to the prime minister. At that time, they had already been met, and there were no differences in their outings, banquets and gatherings. One night, they went to the prime minister's tent to play with each other. The two of them were so happy that the prime minister ordered them to sleep in his tent. When I looked back at dawn, I felt no joy. Xu went to bed and snored loudly. The Prime Minister looked at the guests and said, "It is hard to find a place to sleep here either."
Liu Danyang and Wang Changshi gathered at the Wuguang Temple, where General Huan was also present. They discussed the Western Dynasty and the people in Jiangzuo. Someone asked, "How does Du Hongzhi compare to Wei Hu?" Huan replied, "Hongzhi has fair skin, while Wei Hu has a lively and handsome spirit." Wang and Liu liked his words.
He Cidao went to the Prime Minister's place. The Prime Minister pointed at the seat with his whisk and called He to sit with him, saying, "Come! Come! This is your seat."
Do not pull the coming, do not report the past, do not blaspheme the gods, do not follow the wrong, do not predict the unknown. Scholars rely on virtue and enjoy art; workers rely on law and enjoy persuasion. Do not criticize clothes and tools, do not be pedantic of words. The beauty of words is solemn and majestic; the beauty of the court is full of people; the beauty of sacrifice is orderly and majestic; the beauty of carriages and horses is not timid; the beauty of phoenixes is solemn and peaceful. Ask the king's sons, the elder one says: "He can follow the affairs of the state"; the younger one says: "He can control" or "He can't control". When asked about the age of a senior official's son, if he is older, he will say, "He can follow the music of the musicians"; if he is younger, he will say, "He can be correct in the music of the musicians" but he cannot be correct in the music of the musicians". When asked about the age of a scholar's son, if he is older, he will say, "He can plough the fields"; if he is younger, he will say, "He can carry firewood" but he cannot carry firewood. He cannot walk when holding a jade or tortoise shell, nor when he is in the hall or on the city wall. He cannot walk in a military carriage; the intermediary cannot bow.
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
Etiquette begins with the coming of age, is based on the wedding, is more important than funerals and sacrifices, is more respected than the morning engagement, and is harmonious with the archery field - this is the general outline of etiquette.
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