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Zeng Zi asked: "How can the sacrifice not be performed?" Confucius said: "I heard that in a minor auspicious event, the host performs the sacrifice without offering sacrifices, and offers sacrifices to the guests, but the guests do not raise them. This is the etiquette. In the past, Duke Zhao of Lu performed sacrifices and offered sacrifices to the guests, which was not etiquette; Duke Xiao of Lu performed a major auspicious event, but did not offer sacrifices, which was also not etiquette. "
Yu Zhigong wrote to Huan Wen, saying, "Liu Daosheng is always busy with things, big or small, and is very happy. He is a man of integrity and good humor, and is a good friend. He is truly a good person, and I recommend him to you, so that we can share the hardship together."
The mourning period is lived in the hut, and the mourning period is not allowed to go to the hut for the whole mourning period. If the father is still alive, the mother is still alive, and the wife is still alive; if the mourning period is the period of Qisui, and the mourning period of Dagong Busui for nine months, they will not go to the hut for three months. Women do not live in the hut, and do not sleep in the thatched. After the mourning of parents, go home after the mourning; if the period is nine months, go home after the burial. In the case of public mourning, the great officials wait for the mourning, and the scholars cry and go home. When the parents of a senior official or scholar are buried, they should return home after the funeral. On the anniversary of the death of the deceased on the first month of the lunar month, they should return home to mourn in the clan. When the father or brothers are buried, they should return home after the mourning. A father is not inferior to a son, and an elder brother is not inferior to a younger brother.
During the funeral of Duke Dao, Ji Zhaozi asked Meng Jingzi, "What should the monarch eat?" Jingzi said, "Eating porridge is the most common etiquette in the world. The fact that we three ministers cannot live in the public office has been heard by everyone in the four directions. If I try hard to be poor, then I can do it. Wouldn't it make people suspect that I live in poor conditions without emotion? I will eat."
The so-called self-cultivation is to regulate one's family. One should avoid what one loves, avoid what one despises, avoid what one fears, avoid what one pities, and avoid what one is lazy about. Therefore, there are few people in the world who know the evil of what one likes and the beauty of what one hates. Therefore, there is a proverb: "No one knows the evil of his son, and no one knows the greatness of his seedling. "This means that if you do not cultivate yourself, you cannot manage your family.
When Ruan Bubing lost his mother, Pei Linggong went to offer condolences. Ruan Fang was drunk, sat on the bed with his hair loose, and did not cry. Pei arrived, sat on the ground, cried and mourned, and then left. Someone asked Pei, "In a condolence ceremony, the host cries and the guests perform the rituals. Since Ruan didn't cry, why did you cry?" Pei said, "Ruan is an outsider, so he doesn't respect rituals. We are ordinary people, so we take rituals as our own." People at that time sighed that he had achieved the best of both worlds.
The enemy of the father will not live under the same sky with him. The enemy of the brother will not fight back. Friends are from different countries. There are many fortifications in the suburbs, which is a disgrace to the nobles. The land is vast, but it is uncultivated, which is also a disgrace to the scholars.
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