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The Master said, "A gentleman does not use words to exhaust people. Therefore, when the world is governed by the Way, then actions have branches and leaves; when the world is not governed by the Way, then words have branches and leaves. Therefore, when a gentleman is at the side of a mourner and cannot give him a gift, he does not ask what he spends; when a sick person is at the side of a mourner and cannot give him a meal, he does not ask what he wants; when a guest is at a guest's house and cannot provide him with a guest, he does not ask where he stays. Therefore, the reception of a gentleman is like water, while that of a villain is like sweet wine; a gentleman is indifferent to success, while a villain is willing to be ruined. Xiaoya says: "A thief's words are sweet, and chaos is caused by glutinous rice." Confucius said: "A gentleman does not praise others with his words, so the people will be loyal. Therefore, a gentleman asks people if they are cold, then he clothes them; asks people if they are hungry, then he feeds them; praises people's beauty, then he gives them a title. Guofeng says: "The heart is worried, so I will go home and be happy." Confucius said: "If the mouth is good but the deeds are not fulfilled, resentment will come to the body. Therefore, a gentleman would rather have resentment than have a promise. Guofeng says: "Talking and laughing slowly, keeping promises, not thinking about the return; if you don't think about the return, what's the point!" Confucius said: "A gentleman does not get close to people with his appearance; if he is distant in affection but close in appearance, is he a thief who robs houses?" Confucius said: "The feelings should be trustworthy, and the words should be clever. 鈥

Zhongni was at a banquet, and Zi Zhang, Zi Gong, and Yan were there to accompany him. They talked about etiquette. The Master said: 鈥淪top! I will tell you three about etiquette and let you go around with etiquette to cover everything.鈥 Zi Gong crossed the mat and replied: 鈥淢ay I ask how it goes? 鈥漈he Master said, 鈥淩espect without following the rules of propriety is called wildness; respect without following the rules of propriety is called servility; courage without following the rules of propriety is called rebellion.鈥 The Master said, 鈥淪erving others takes away kindness and benevolence.鈥 The Master said, 鈥淢aster, you are too much; and Shang is not as good as that. Zichan is like the mother of all people, who can feed them but cannot teach them.鈥 Zigong crossed the table and replied, 鈥淢ay I ask what you will do to achieve this middle point?鈥 The Master said, 鈥淩itual! Rituals are used to set the middle point.鈥




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