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When mourning clothes are not yet complete, if there are condolences, then the person will cry, bow and dance for the position. When a senior official mourns for a senior official, he should wear a veil and mourning clothes; when a senior official participates in a funeral, he should also wear a veil and mourning clothes. If a senior official has a private funeral, then he should wear a veil and mourning clothes for his brother's minor funeral.
Zhang Jiying was appointed as the Eastern Cao official by King Qi. When he was in Luoyang, he saw the autumn wind rising and thought of the mushroom and vegetable soup and sea bass sashimi in Wu. He said, "It is important to be comfortable in life. Why should I travel thousands of miles to seek fame and title!" So he ordered his carriage to return. Soon the King of Qi was defeated, and people at that time all said that it was a sign of good fortune.
When Yin Zhongkan was appointed to Jingzhou, Wang Dongting asked him, "Virtue is known as keeping everything intact, and benevolence is known as not harming things. Now you are the governor of China, and you are in charge of killing people. Isn't this contrary to my principles?" Yin Zhongkan replied, "Gao Yao created the system of punishment and exile, and he was not unvirtuous; Confucius was the chief prosecutor, and he was not unkind."
When the Grand Tutor, Prince Donghai, was stationed in Xuchang, he appointed Wang Anqi as the secretary and military officer, and they had a good relationship and respected each other. He ordered the Crown Prince Pi, saying, "The benefits of learning are shallow, while the comfort of the body is profound. It is better to observe the etiquette and manners carefully than to practice them casually. It is better to receive the emperor's will in person than to savor his words. General Wang is the model of human relations, you should learn from him!" Someone said, "General Wang, Zhao and Deng are the models of human relations, you should learn from them!" He was referring to Anqi, Deng Bodao and Zhao Mu. Yuan Hong wrote the Biography of Famous Scholars and mentioned Wang Canjun. Some say that the Zhao family still has this copy.
When Huan Xuanwu conquered Shu, he took Li Shi's sister as his concubine and doted on her very much, often having her sit behind the king's throne. The master was unaware of this at first, but when she heard about it, she and dozens of her maids drew their swords and attacked him. Li was combing her hair. Her hair was hanging on the ground, her complexion was as white as jade, but she remained unmoved. Xu said: "My country is destroyed and my family is ruined, I have no intention of coming to this point. If I can be killed today, it is my real wish." The lord retreated in shame.
Duke Xiang of Song buried his wife with a hundred jars of salted meat. Zeng Zi said, "Since it is said that the utensils are clear, it is also filled." At the funeral of Meng Xianzi, Si Tu Lu returned to Si Bu. The Master said, "Yes." Reading the 赐, Zengzi said, "It is not ancient, it is a second report." Cheng Zigao was ill in bed, and Qing Yi came in and asked, "Your illness has worsened. If it becomes a serious illness, what should I do?" Zigao said, "I have heard that life is beneficial to people, and death is not harmful to people. Even if I am not beneficial to people in life, can I harm people in death? When I die, choose a place where no food is eaten and bury me there."
There was a morning auspicious event in Lu, but no one sang. Zilu laughed at him. The Master said, "You, you blame others, and never stop? The three-year mourning period is already long." Zilu left, and the Master said, "How long? If it lasts more than a month, it will be good."
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
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