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Zeng Zi asked: "What should be done if there is a funeral? What comes first and what comes later?" Confucius said: "In the funeral, the light is first and then the heavy; the offering is first and then the light; it is a ritual. From the beginning to the funeral, there is no offering, and there is no mourning during the funeral; after the funeral, there is an offering, and then say goodbye to the funeral, and then do the funeral. The funeral is first heavy and then light, which is a ritual." Confucius said: "Even if the son of the clan is seventy, there is no one without a mistress; if he is not a son of the clan, it is okay even if he has no mistress."
Prime Minister Wang was frugal, and there were delicious fruits under his tent, which were always abundant. When the spring came, the army was rotten and the governor reported it to the emperor, who ordered them to leave. He said, "Be careful not to let Dalang know."
When Zhang Hua saw Chu Tao, he said to Lu Pingyuan: "Your brothers are like dragons leaping through the clouds, and Gu Yanxian is like a phoenix singing in the morning sun. I thought the treasures of the southeast were gone, but I didn't expect to see Chu Sheng again." Lu said: "You have never seen anyone who doesn't sing or leap!"
Etiquette begins with the coming of age, is based on the wedding, is more important than funerals and sacrifices, is more respected than the morning engagement, and is harmonious with the archery field - this is the general outline of etiquette.
When you first meet a gentleman, you say, "I really want to be known by the general." You cannot get in touch with the master. The enemy says, "I really want to see you." If you rarely meet him, you say, "I have heard of you." If you meet him quickly, you say, "I have seen you every morning and evening." The blind say, "I have heard of you." If someone is in mourning, you say, "I will see you soon." A boy says, "I will listen to the affairs." If you are in mourning for a minister, you say, "I will listen to the servants of the Minister of Education." If the king is going to marry someone else, if the minister gives gold, jade, and other valuables to the king, he says, "Give money for horses to the officials"; the enemy says, "Give gifts to the attendants." If the minister gives a gift to the king, he says, "Give old clothes to the merchant"; the enemy says, "The 襚." If the relatives are brothers, they will not be promoted with the 襚. The minister serves the king.
Zhi Zhan once served as the governor of four counties, the assistant military officer of the General's Household Department, and was later appointed as the Internal Historian at the age of 29. Once, Wang Dun said to Zhan: "You are not even thirty years old, but you have already become a magistrate, which is too young." Zhan said: "Compared to the general, I am too young; compared to Gan Luo, I am already too old."
Ruan Zhongrong first had sex with a Xianbei maid from his aunt's family. When I was in mourning for my mother, my aunt had to move far away. At first, she said that she would keep the maid, but after she left, she was determined to leave. Zhongrong borrowed a donkey, chopsticks and heavy clothes from a guest and chased after him, but he returned with several horses. She said: "The human race must not be lost!" She was the mother of Yao Ji.
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