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As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
Prime Minister Wang invited Zu to talk at night and he stayed awake until dawn. There will be guests tomorrow morning. The man has not combed his hair yet and looks a little tired. The guest said, "You were like this yesterday, as if you had insomnia." The Duke said, "I talked a little with the scholar yesterday, and it made me forget my fatigue."
When a senior official came to pay his respects, he would say no. When paying respects to someone, he should not be happy on that day. Women should not go beyond the border to pay respects to someone. On the day of paying respects, they should not drink alcohol or eat meat. When paying respects to a funeral, the person must hold the lead. If they follow the coffin to the grave, they should all hold the rope. When a public official pays respects, there must be someone to bow, even if they are friends or people from the state or village. When paying respects, he should say, "My lord will serve you." The host should say, "Come." When the lord sees the coffin on the road, he must send someone to pay his respects. When a senior official is buried, commoners should not receive his respects. If the brother of the wife's father dies, the son should be the main one, and he should not cry or jump. The husband should enter the room on the right, and have someone stand outside the door to inform the visitors. If they are close to him, he should go in and cry. If the father is alive, he should cry in the wife's room; if they are not the father's descendants, he should cry in other rooms. If there is a funeral, if you hear of the death of a distant brother, you should cry in the side room; if there is no side room, you should cry on the right side of the door; if they are from the same country, you should go to cry.
When Yin Zhongkan was appointed to Jingzhou, Wang Dongting asked him, "Virtue is known as keeping everything intact, and benevolence is known as not harming things. Now you are the governor of China, and you are in charge of killing people. Isn't this contrary to my principles?" Yin Zhongkan replied, "Gao Yao created the system of punishment and exile, and he was not unvirtuous; Confucius was the chief prosecutor, and he was not unkind."
A senior official starts to work at the age of seventy. If he is not thanked, he must be given a stick and forced to do the work with women. Go to all directions, riding in a safe carriage. If one calls himself "old man", he will use his name when he is in his own country; if one is asked about something in another country, he will be sure to tell them the customs.
Fan Xuanping was a man, good at wisdom, and sometimes lost the official position in Dongyang, Huan Da Sima was in Nanzhou, so he went to voteChang Qing. "When Fan Cai sat down, Huan thanked him for coming from afar. Although Fan really wanted to submit to Huan, he was afraid that he would damage his reputation by following the trend, so he said, "Although I miss my ancestors, I have a dead son buried here, so I came to visit him. "Huan was disappointed and stood there in vain, and all was lost for a moment.
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