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When the father is in mourning, the sons in the palace cannot participate in the music. When the mother is in mourning, If the sound is heard, do not play music. If the wife is in mourning, do not play music beside her. When a great achievement is about to come, set aside the zither and the harp. When a small achievement comes, do not stop the music.
When Confucius passed by the side of Mount Tai, a woman was crying at a grave. Confucius stood up and listened to her. He asked Zilu to ask her, "Your crying seems to be deeply worried." She said, "Yes, my uncle died of a tiger in the past, my husband also died there, and now my son has died there too." The Master asked, "Why don't you leave?" She said, "No harsh government." The Master said, "My boy, you know it. Harsh government is more fierce than a tiger."
When Wei Si Tu Jingzi died, Zixia offered condolences. The host had not yet buried him, so he went there in mourning clothes. Ziyou went to mourn. After the host had buried him, Ziyou came out, wearing mourning clothes and crying. Zixia asked, "Did you hear that?" He said, "I heard from you, Master, that if the host has not changed his clothes, he should not wear mourning clothes." Zengzi said, "Yanzi can be said to know etiquette, and he is respectful." Youruo said, "Yanzi wore the same fox fur coat for thirty years, and sent one carriage to the tomb and returned; the king had seven carriages, and the ministers had five carriages. How could Yanzi know etiquette?" Zengzi said, "If a country is not governed by the Way, a gentleman will be ashamed to be full of etiquette. If the state is extravagant, then show it frugality; if the state is frugal, then show it etiquette.
Yan Ding was good at mourning: when he died, he was anxious as if he wanted to find it but couldn't get it; when he was buried, he looked around as if he wanted to follow but couldn't reach it; after the burial, he sighed as if he couldn't reach it and stopped.
Ritual is to the right state: it is like a scale to weight, a ruler to straightness, and a compass to squareness. Therefore, if the scale is honestly hung, it cannot be deceived by the weight; if the ruler is honestly laid out, it cannot be deceived by the crookedness; if the rules are honestly set up, it cannot be deceived by the squareness and roundness; a gentleman examines the rites and cannot be accused of treachery. Therefore, those who respect the rites and follow the rites are called the gentlemen with the rules; those who do not respect the rites and do not follow the rites are called the people without the rules. It is the way of respect and yielding. Therefore, when serving the ancestral temple, one is respectful; when entering the court, the noble and the humble have their positions; when living at home, the father and son are close and the brothers are harmonious; when living in the village, the elders and the young are in order. Confucius said: "To settle the state and govern the people, nothing is better than rites." This is what he meant.
The one who is most benevolent has the most heavy mourning; therefore, for a father, he should wear mourning clothes for three years, which is a rule of benevolence. In the governance of the family, grace covers righteousness; in the governance of the family, righteousness cuts off grace. From serving the father to serving the king, and respecting the same, respecting the noble and respecting the elder, this is the greatest righteousness. Therefore, for a king, he should also wear mourning clothes for three years, which is a rule of righteousness.
The King of Liang and the King of Zhao were close relatives of the country and were highly respected at the time. Duke Pei Ling asked the two countries to pay millions of yuan in rent every year to help the poor among his relatives. Someone ridiculed him and said, "Why do you beg for things to do good?" Pei said, "To take away from the surplus and give to the deficiency is the way of heaven."
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