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Ruan Ji's sister-in-law once came back home, and Ji saw her and said goodbye to her. Or ridicule it. Ji said, "Is the etiquette designed for people like us?"

The etiquette of running to the funeral: When you first hear about the death of a relative, you should cry and express your sorrow; when you ask the reason, you should cry and express your sorrow again. Then you should go, and travel a hundred miles a day, not at night. Only when your parents die, you should go when you see the stars, and stop when you see the stars. If you can’t go, you should wear mourning clothes before going. When you pass through the country, you should stop crying when you have cried. Cry and open the market. When you look at the country, you should cry. When you get home, you should go in the left, ascend from the west steps, lie down in the east, sit facing west, cry and express your sorrow, tie your hair and expose your body, and go down to the east of the hall. The host takes his seat, faces west and cries, dances, and wears a mourning robe in the east of the order, twisting his belt. Return to his seat, bow to the guest, dance, see the guest off, and return to his seat; if there is a guest who arrives later, he bows to him, dances and sees off the guest as before. All the host's brothers go out, and stop crying when they go out; close the door, and the attendant tells them to take their turn. Cry again, pull up the hair and bare the body, dance; cry for the third time, pull up the hair and bare the body again, dance. After three days, complete mourning, bow to the guest and see off the guest as before.

When Wei Si Tu Jingzi died, Zixia offered condolences. The host had not yet buried him, so he went there in mourning clothes. Ziyou went to mourn. After the host had buried him, Ziyou came out, wearing mourning clothes and crying. Zixia asked, "Did you hear that?" He said, "I heard from you, Master, that if the host has not changed his clothes, he should not wear mourning clothes." Zengzi said, "Yanzi can be said to know etiquette, and he is respectful." Youruo said, "Yanzi wore the same fox fur coat for thirty years, and sent one carriage to the tomb and returned; the king had seven carriages, and the ministers had five carriages. How could Yanzi know etiquette?" Zengzi said, "If a country is not governed by the Way, a gentleman will be ashamed to be full of etiquette. If the state is extravagant, then show it frugality; if the state is frugal, then show it etiquette.




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更新时间:2025-03-16

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