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Wang Zijing asked Master Xie, "How is Jiabin compared to Daoji?" He replied, "Daoji is sincere in copying and summarizing the clear enlightenment, so Jiabin is superior."
An old friend of Confucius was Yuanrang. When his mother died, Confucius helped her wash the coffin. Yuanrang climbed a tree and said, "It has been a long time since I have trusted music." The song went, "The spotted head of a raccoon, holding the curled hand of a woman." Confucius passed by as someone who did not hear it. The follower said, "Can't you stop?" Confucius said, "I have heard that relatives should not lose their relatives, and the old ones should not lose their old ones."
Liu Ling was always indulging in drinking and being unrestrained. Sometimes he would take off his clothes and walk naked in the house, and people would laugh at him. Ling said: "I use the heaven and earth as my building, and my house as my clothes. Why do you want to enter my army?"
Wang Xiang's mother, Mrs. Zhu, was very respectful to him. There was a plum tree in her home which produced very good fruits, so his mother always asked him to take care of it. Suddenly, a storm came and Xiang hugged the tree and cried. Xiang once slept in a separate bed, and his mother went there and chopped him in secret. When Xiang got up secretly, he chopped off the empty quilt. After returning, he knew that his mother was very sad, so he knelt before her and asked to die. The mother then realized the truth and loved him as her own son.
Yu Zhongchu finished writing the Yangdu Fu and presented it to Yu Liang. Liang, with the feeling of being a relative, greatly appreciated its reputation and said: "It is worthy of three or two capitals, and four or three metropolises." Everyone competed to copy it, and paper became expensive in the capital. Master Xie said: "No. This is like building a house under a house. If you try to learn everything, you will still be frugal and narrow."
When marrying a wife, one should not marry someone with the same surname as her. Therefore, if one buys a concubine but does not know her surname, one should consult the divination. If a widow's son has no opinion on him, he should not be friends with him.
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
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