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Zi Yun: "A gentleman forgives his parents' faults and respects their virtues." The Analects says: "If one does not change his father's way for three years, he can be called filial." Gaozong said: "For three years, he did not speak, and he would complain if he spoke." Zi Yun: "If one obeys orders without anger, gives subtle advice without getting tired, and works hard without complaining, he can be called filial." The Book of Poetry
When Jia Chong first formulated laws and decrees, he and Yang Hu consulted with Grand Tutor Zheng Chong. Chong said, "Gao Yao's strict and righteous intention is beyond the reach of my cowardice." Yang said, "The emperor wants us to have a little more progress." Chong then gave his consent.
Xie E respected his elder sister very much, and Zhang Xuan often praised his younger sister, hoping to rival her. There was a man named Jini, who visited the homes of both Zhang and Xie. People ask about its advantages and disadvantages? The answer was: "Mrs. Wang has a relaxed and cheerful demeanor, so she has the air of a forest dweller. Mrs. Gu has a pure heart and a beautiful reflection of her beauty, so she is naturally the beauty of the boudoir."
Emperor Ming asked Zhou Boren: "How do you think you compare to Xi Jian?" Zhou said: "Jian is a good minister, if he has the ability." He asked Xi again. Xi said: "Zhou Xi is comparable to me, and has the style of a great scholar."
The prefect of Yingchuan was named Chen Zhonggong. A guest asked Yuan Fang, "What do you think of the governor?" Yuan Fang said, "He is a wise ruler." "What do you think of your master?" He said, "He is a loyal minister and a filial son." The guest said, "The Book of Changes says, 'Two people of one mind can cut through metal; words of one mind are as fragrant as orchids.' How could a wise ruler punish a loyal minister and a filial son?" Yuan Fang said, "What you said is so absurd! So I won't answer you." The guest said, "You are just trying to be respectful so I can't answer you." Yuan Fang said, "In the past, Emperor Gaozong exiled the filial son Xiaoji, Yin Jifu exiled the filial son Boqi, and Dong Zhongshu exiled the filial son Fuqi. Only these three rulers were wise rulers, and only these three sons were loyal ministers and filial sons." The guest left in shame.
A gentleman is one who is well-informed, strong in knowledge, and humble, and who is kind and not lazy. A gentleman does not exhaust people's favors or exhaust people's loyalty, but maintains friendship.
A gentleman is usually reserved. A gentleman is ashamed to prepare funeral supplies. A gentleman will not do anything that can be prepared in one or two days. In mourning clothes, the sons of brothers are treated as sons, and they should be welcomed and brought forward; the sisters-in-law and uncles have no mourning clothes, and they should be pushed away; the sisters-in-law and sisters are thin, and some people accept me and treat them well. Eating beside a mourning person, I have never been full.
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