Nanmen Shichao 558涓囧瓧 520154浜鸿杩 杩炶浇
銆娂で樾晕蘼胧悠翟谙吖劭淬
Confucius said, "Rituals are what the people in the streets indulge in. They make the differences between the people and make them have no suspicion. They serve as rules for the people." Therefore, men and women do not have intercourse without a matchmaker, and do not meet without money, fearing that there will be no difference between men and women. With this, the people in the streets still offer themselves. The Book of Songs says, "How can you cut wood? Without an axe, you cannot do it; how can you marry? Without a matchmaker, you cannot get it; how can you plant hemp? You follow her across the field; how can you marry a wife? You must tell her parents." Confucius said, "Do not marry a wife with the same surname, so as to distinguish them." Therefore, if you do not know the surname of a concubine when buying one, you should consult a fortune teller. Because of this people, the Spring and Autumn Annals of Lu still removed the surname of the lady and called her Wu, and her death was called Mengzi's death. Confucius said: "In the ritual, men and women do not exchange titles except for sacrifices." Because of this people, Yang Hou still killed Mu Hou and stole his wife. Therefore, the ritual of the lady was abolished at the grand feast. Confucius said: "If you don't see the son of a widow, you will not be friends with her. The gentleman keeps a distance from her." Therefore, when making friends, if the host is not at home, you will not enter her house unless there is a major reason. Because of this people, the people still value beauty more than virtue. Confucius said: "Love virtue is like love beauty." The princes did not go below the temptation of beauty. Therefore, the gentleman kept a distance from beauty as a rule for the people. Therefore, men and women do not touch each other. When you touch a woman, you should offer your left hand. If the daughter of a aunt, sister or daughter returns after marriage, men should not sit at the same table with her. A widow should not cry at night. If a woman is sick, you should not ask about her illness. Because of this people, the people are still licentious and chaotic in the clan. Confucius said: "At a wedding, the groom personally welcomes the bride and greets the uncle and aunt. The uncle and aunt pass the bride to the groom, fearing that the matter will go wrong." Because of this, some women still do not attend.
The Master said, "Go back! A gentleman is concealed yet visible; he is not pretentious yet dignified; he is not harsh yet powerful; he does not speak but is trustworthy." The Master said, "A gentleman does not misstep with others, does not mismatch with others, does not mislead with others. Hence, a gentleman's appearance is enough to be feared, his expression is enough to be feared, and his words are enough to be trusted. It is said in Fu Xing, 'Be respectful and cautious, and do not choose what to say.'" The Master said, "The reason why the clothes and the clothes do not follow each other is that we want the people not to offend each other." The Master said, "When offering sacrifices with utmost respect, do not follow them with music; when attending the morning with utmost argument, do not follow them with fatigue." The Master said, "A gentleman is cautious so as to avoid calamity, is sincere so as not to cover up, and is respectful so as to avoid shame." The Master said, "When a gentleman is solemn and respectful, he becomes stronger day by day; when he is idle and careless, he becomes more lazy day by day. A gentleman does not spend a day busying himself, as if it were not the whole day." The Master said, "Be cautious in serving ghosts and gods, and choose a day and a month to meet the king, for fear that the people will not respect him." The Master said, "If you insult me, you will not be afraid of death." The Master said, "No words are not spoken, no manners are not to see each other; to wish that the people would not disrespect each other. The Book of Changes says: 鈥楾he first divination is reported, the second and third divinations are reported, and if it is disrespected, then it is not reported.鈥欌
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