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When Xi Jiabin died, his attendants told Xi Gong that "his husband has passed away." Upon hearing this, Xi Gong was not sad, but said to his attendants, "We can tell you during the funeral." When Xi Gong went to the funeral, he was so sad that he almost died.
When Tao Gong was young, he worked as a fish weir official and once offered fish crucibles to his mother as a reward. The mother sealed the fish and gave it to the envoy, and wrote back to rebuke Kan, saying: "You are an official, and you use official goods to pay the bills. Not only is it of no benefit, but it also adds to my worries."
The king鈥檚 parents and brothers, his uncle, his aunt, and his sister should be tabooed. The son should share the same taboo with his father. The mother鈥檚 taboo is taboo in the palace. The wife鈥檚 taboo is not mentioned by her side; if she has the same name as her aunt鈥檚 brother, she should be tabooed. For those who wear a cap in mourning, even if the mourning period is three years, it is OK. After the cap is worn in the second place, enter the palace to cry and dance, and do three times three times before leaving. For those who have the least merit, they can wear a cap on their sons and marry their sons. For the father, who has the least merit, they can wear a cap on their sons and marry their sons, and can marry their wives. Even if you have done a minor merit, you can wear a cap and marry a wife after you have finished crying; but for those who have done a minor merit, it is not allowed. All caps and mourning clothes should be worn with extravagant sleeves.
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
When the king meets the guests, and the king bestows the title, they all bow twice and kowtow, and then rise to bow, which shows the etiquette of the ministers; the king returns the bow, and all the courtesy is returned, which shows the etiquette of the king. Ministers try their best to make contributions to the country, and the monarch will reward them with titles and salaries. Therefore, ministers should try their best to make contributions, so the country is safe and the monarch is at peace. There is no ritual that is not answered, which means that the superior does not take in vain from the subordinates. The superior must clarify the right way to guide the people, and the people follow the way and make contributions, and then take one tenth of it, so the superior has enough and the subordinate is not short of it; so the superior and the subordinate are in harmony and do not resent each other. Harmony and peace are the purpose of rituals; this is the great righteousness of the superior and the subordinate. Therefore, it is said that the banquet ritual is to clarify the righteousness of the superior and the subordinate.
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