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In mourning, one should only look at the deceased but not answer; in mourning of the same age, one should answer but not speak; in mourning of the great merit, one should speak but not discuss; in mourning of the minor merit, one should discuss but not enjoy music. This is the expression of grief in speech.
Yu Liang'er was killed by Su Junnan. Zhuge Daoming's daughter was Yu Er's wife. After she became a widow, she was about to remarry and wrote a letter to Liang about it. Liang replied, "The virtuous girl is still young, so it is appropriate. She is grateful for her lost son, as if he were still alive."
Chen Zhuangzi died and went to Lu. The people of Lu did not want to cry. Duke Mu summoned Xianzi and asked him about it. Xianzi said, "In ancient times, the officials did not finish their work. Even if they wanted to cry, how could they cry? Today's officials are involved in the government of China. Even if they want not to cry, how can they not cry? Moreover, I have heard that there are two ways to cry: one is to cry for love, and the other is to cry for fear." The Duke said, "Yes, then what should we do?" Xianzi said, "Please cry in the temples of different surnames." So he cried with the Xianshi. Zhongxian said to Zengzi: "The Xia Dynasty used Mingqi to show that the people were ignorant; the Yin people used sacrificial utensils to show that the people were knowledgeable; the Zhou people used both to show that the people were suspicious." Zengzi said: "Is it not so! Is it not so! Mingqi is a ghost instrument; sacrificial utensils are human instruments; why did the ancient people die for their own parents?" Gongshu Mu's half-brother died, and he asked Ziyou. Ziyou said: "Is it a great merit?" Di Yi's half-brother died, and he asked Zixia. Zixia said: "I have never heard of it before; the people of Lu wear Qisui for him." Di Yi wore Qisui. The Qisui of today is what Di Yi asked.
Confucians cleanse themselves and bathe in virtue, they keep their words to themselves, they are calm and correct, and their superiors do not know; they are rough and arrogant, and they do not rush to do things; they do not think they are high when they are deep, and they do not think they are much when they add a little; they do not despise the world in peace, and they do not get discouraged when the world is in chaos; they do not agree with the same, and they do not criticize the different. They are like this in their uniqueness.
Xie Huer said to Yu Daoji: "Don't talk to me, just build a strong city wall." Yu said: "If Wendu comes, I will fight him with a small army; if Kangbo comes, I will cross the river and burn the boats."
Wang Rong was frugal and stingy. When his nephew married, he gave her only a single piece of clothing, but he later blamed her for it.
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