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As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
Xun Fengqian and his wife were very close. In winter, when his wife suffered from a fever, he went out to the courtyard to cool himself down, and then used his body to warm the fever. After his wife died, Feng Qian also died young. Therefore he was ridiculed by the world. Feng Qian said: "A woman's virtue is not worth mentioning, her beauty should be the main thing." Pei Ling heard this and said: "This is a matter of excitement, not a statement of great virtue. I hope that future generations will not forget this saying."
Whenever Shi Chong invited guests to a banquet, he would always ask beauties to serve wine. If a guest does not finish drinking, the eunuch will order the beauty to be beheaded. Prime Minister Wang and the general once visited Chong together. The Prime Minister could not drink, but he forced himself to drink until he became drunk. Whenever he met the general, he would not drink, in order to observe the changes. He had already killed three people, but his expression remained the same and he still refused to drink. The Prime Minister declined the offer, but the General said, "It is none of your business to kill his family members!"
The king set up seven sacrifices for all surnames: Siming, Zhongliu, Guomen, Guoxing, Taili, Hu, and Zao. The king set up seven sacrifices for himself. The princes set up five sacrifices for the country, called Siming, Zhongliu, Guomen, Guoxing, and Gongli. The princes set up five sacrifices for themselves. The officials set up three sacrifices: Zuli, Men, and Xing. The suitable scholars set up two sacrifices: Men and Xing. The common people set up one sacrifice, or set up Hu, or set up Zao.
Gu Shao once had a conversation with Pang Shiyuan, who asked, "I heard that you are famous for knowing people. Who is better, me or you?" He replied, "In terms of being influenced by the world and rising and falling with the times, I am not as good as you; but in discussing the remaining strategies of kingship and hegemony and viewing the key points of reliance, I seem to be one day better than you." Shao also felt at ease with his words.
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