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Yu, the staff shall not be brought into the room; bu, the staff shall not be raised in the hall. If you are the descendant of the monarch's mother, when the monarch's mother dies, you shall not wear the party clothes of the monarch's mother. The sash shall be reduced by one-fifth and the staff shall be as big as the sash. If a concubine is the eldest son of the monarch, she shall be treated the same as the daughter of the monarch. When the mourning is over, the heavier one is worn first; when the mourning is changed, the lighter one is changed. The temple gate is opened for no reason. All mourning is done in the next place. The inscription is written again, and the words are the same from the emperor to the scholar. Men are called by their names, and women write their surnames and their brothers and sisters. If the surname is unknown, they write their clan names.
Wang Zhonglang promoted Xu Xuandu as the official of the Ministry of Personnel. Xi Chongxi said, "The king is doing good things, so you can't let Ah Shu sit there."
Chu Taifu went south, Sun Changle saw it in the ship, and Liu Zhen long died, Sun slugged, because of sarcasm said: "People's clouds perish, the country is exhausted."
Xie Gong served as Sima of Xuanwu, and had dozens of disciples under the command of Zhao Yuezi, Zhonglang of Tian Cao. Yuezi reported this to Emperor Xuanwu, who said, "Use only half of them." Zhao immediately employed all of them, saying, "When Anshi was in Dongshan, the gentry urged him to do things, so he might not be involved in personnel matters. Moreover, now that he is being selected from the local area, won't he go against their will?"
Nanyang Zong Shilin was a contemporary of Wei Wu, but Wei Wu despised him as a person and did not associate with him. When Wei Wu became Sikong and was in charge of government affairs, he calmly asked Zong, "Can I befriend you?" Zong replied, "The ambition of pine and cypress still remains." Shi Lin was dismissed for disobeying the emperor's order, and his position was not worthy of his virtue. Whenever Emperor Wen's brothers visited his door, they would bow alone under the bed. This was their etiquette for greeting.
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
When Bo Yu's mother died, he cried even after a certain period of time. The Master heard about it and said: "Who is crying with you?" The disciple said: "It's the carp." The Master said: "Hey! It's too much." Bo Yu heard about it and then got rid of it.
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