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When consulting an elder, one must hold a stick and follow his lead. It is impolite to answer an elder's question without declining.
Emperor Wu said to He Qiao, "I want to scold Wang Wuzi first, and then give him a title." Qiao said, "Wuzi is handsome and straightforward, I am afraid he cannot be subdued." The emperor then summoned Wuzi and scolded him severely, then asked, "Do you feel ashamed?" Wuzi said, "The rumor of 'a foot of cloth and a bucket of millet' has always been shameful to Your Majesty! Others can make people alienate relatives, but I cannot make people alienate relatives, so I feel ashamed of Your Majesty."
Wang Youjun was good at calligraphy, as were Wang Jingren and Xu Xuandu. After the two men died, Youjun became even more successful in debates. Kong Yan warned him, saying, "Your Excellency, in the past you had close relations with Wang and Xu. But after they passed away, you did not take good care of them. This is unacceptable to the people." Youjun felt very ashamed.
The one who presents the table and the staff should brush it. The one who imitates a horse or a sheep should lead it with his right hand; the one who imitates a dog should lead it with his left hand. The one who holds a bird should hold it with his left hand. The one who decorates lambs and geese should hold it with a silk cloth. The one who receives pearls and jade should hold it with his hands. The one who receives a bow and sword should hold it with his sleeves. The one who drinks from a jade cup should not wave it. Anyone who asks for a bow, sword, bag, or basket to ask for a favor should hold it as if he were receiving a favor, just like a messenger.
Xun Ciming met Yuan Lang of Runan and asked about the people of Yingchuan. Ciming mentioned his brothers first. Lang laughed and said, "Can a scholar be selected only because of his kinship?" Ciming said, "You are questioning me, what scripture are you basing your opinion on?" Lang said, "I was just asking about the country's scholars, but you mentioned my brothers, so I blame them." Ciming said, "In the past, Qi Xi recommended people from within the country without missing their sons, and recommended people from outside the country without missing their enemies, which was considered to be very fair. The poem of King Wen of Gongdan did not discuss the virtues of Yao and Shun, but praised Wen and Wu, which is the meaning of loving one's relatives. The meaning of the Spring and Autumn Annals is to include one's country within and exclude other countries. Moreover, if one does not love one's relatives but loves others, is it not against virtue?"
No one can escape the funeral procession unless they follow the coffin and cry. In all funerals, from minor to major, no bathing is allowed unless there are auspicious signs such as the mourning clothes and the funeral rites. In the case of a funeral of a young man, after the burial, if someone asks to see the deceased, then he can see the deceased; but if no one asks to see the deceased, then he can see the deceased. In the case of a minor funeral, then he can see the deceased if he asks to see the deceased. In the case of a major funeral, then he does not need to hold the coffin. Only in the case of a parent鈥檚 funeral, one does not need to weep and see the deceased. In the case of a three-year funeral, auspicious signs are followed; in the case of a full-term funeral, one cries and follows the deceased鈥檚 funeral; in the case of a nine-month funeral, after the burial, one follows the deceased鈥檚 funeral; in the case of a minor funeral, after the funeral, one follows the deceased鈥檚 funeral. Zeng Shen asked Zeng Zi, 鈥淚s there a fixed sound for crying parents?鈥 Zeng Zi replied, 鈥淎 baby lost its mother on the way, so what fixed sound is there?鈥 鈥
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