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In funerals, we want them to be relaxed; in auspicious events, we want them to be relaxed. Therefore, even if funerals are hasty, they should not be over-ruled; even if auspicious events are delayed, they should not be lazy. Therefore, if you are too noisy, you are wild; if you are too busy, you are a mean person.
When Yin Zhongkan was the governor of Jingzhou, there was a flood season and he usually ate only five bowls of food, with no other dishes. When rice grains fell on the plate or table, he would pick them up and eat them. Although we want to lead things, we must do so according to their true nature. I always tell my children, "Don't think that I am giving up my former ambitions because I have been appointed to a provincial post. It is not easy for me to be in this position now. Poverty is the norm for scholars. How can I climb the branch and abandon my roots? You should save it!"
At nightfall at the tomb of Emperor Xiaowu, Wang Xiaobo came to the tomb and told his brothers: "Although the rafters and beams are new, they still bring with them the sorrow of the lost generations!"
When Ji Sun's mother died, Duke Ai went to offer condolences. Zengzi and Zigong went to offer condolences. The gatekeeper did not let them in because the king was present. Zengzi and Zigong went into the stable and dressed up. Zigong went in first, and the gatekeeper said, "The governor has already told us." Zengzi went in later, and the gatekeeper let him in. When they went inside, the nobles and officials all left their seats, and the Duke lowered his rank and bowed to them. The gentleman said, "If you use all your skills, you will go far." When Jiefu of Yangmen died, the city manager Zihan went in and cried. The Jin people who spied on Song reported back to the Duke of Jin, saying, "Jiefu of Yangmen died, and Zihan wept bitterly, and the people were pleased. It is unlikely that he should be attacked." Confucius heard about it and said, "How good is the spying on the country! The Book of Songs says, 'When the people are in mourning, they should be supported and clothed.' Although it is only a small country like Jin, who in the world can do it?"
Jianwen asked Sun Xinggong: "What is Yuan Yang like?" He replied: "Those who don't know him don't live up to his talent; those who know him don't take his nature."
Prime Minister Wang said: "Recently, people have compared me to Anqi and Qianli. They also recommend these two people. But they all recommend the Grand Marshal, who is particularly outstanding."
After Emperor Yuan ascended the throne, because of the favor of Queen Zheng, he wanted to abandon Emperor Ming and enthrone Emperor Jianwen. Those who discussed the issue at that time all said, "It is not only against reason and ethics to abandon the elder and establish the younger one as the crown prince, but also because Emperor Ming is intelligent and decisive, he should be the crown prince." The officials of Zhou and Wang all argued earnestly. Only Diao Xuanliang wanted to obey the young master and follow the emperor's orders. Emperor Yuan was about to implement it, but was worried that the officials would not obey his orders. So he first summoned Marquis Zhou and the Prime Minister, and then wanted to issue an edict to Diao. When Zhou and Wang had just entered and reached the top of the steps, the emperor sent someone to convey the imperial edict and stopped the envoys from going to the east wing. The Marquis of Zhou did not realize what was happening, and immediately went down the stairs. The prime minister opened the imperial edict and went straight to the emperor's bed and said, "I don't know why Your Majesty sees me." The emperor remained silent, took out the yellow paper edict from his arms, tore it up and threw it at him. From then on, the crown prince was decided. Zhou Houfang sighed with shame and said, "I always said I was better than Maohong, but now I know I am not as good as him!"
Ruan Ji's sister-in-law once came back home, and Ji saw her and said goodbye to her. Or ridicule it. Ji said, "Is the etiquette designed for people like us?"
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