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During the day, it is okay to stay inside and ask about someone's illness; at night, it is okay to stay outside and express condolences. Therefore, a gentleman does not stay outside unless there is a major cause; he does not stay inside day and night unless he is in Qi or is not ill.
The three brothers Wang Huangmen all went to see Xie Gong. Ziyou and Zizhong talked a lot about worldly matters, while Zijing just exchanged greetings. After he left, a guest asked Xie Gong, "Who of the three sages is better?" Xie Gong said, "The younger one is the best." The guest asked, "How do you know that?" Xie Gong said, "Auspicious people speak less, while impetuous people speak more. I can tell this by inference."
To congratulate a man on marrying, he said: "So-and-so made me know that you have a guest, which made me ashamed."
Grand Tutor Xie asked the chief clerk Lu Tui, "Why did Zhang Ping write a eulogy for his mother but not for his father?" Tui replied, "It is because a man's virtue is shown in his deeds, and a woman's beauty cannot be revealed without a eulogy."
The emperor's altars and grains are all large sacrifices, while the altars and grains of the princes are all small sacrifices. The sacrifices of the officials and scholars to the ancestral temples are offered if they have land, and offered if they do not have land. The common people offer leeks in spring, wheat in summer, millet in autumn, and rice in winter. Leeks are offered with eggs, wheat with fish, millet with pigs, and rice with geese. The cattle used to offer sacrifices to heaven and earth have cocoons and chestnuts in their horns; the cattle used to offer sacrifices to the ancestral temples have horns with handles; the cattle used to offer sacrifices to guests have horns with rulers. The princes shall not kill cattle without reason, the great officials shall not kill sheep without reason, the scholars shall not kill dogs and pigs without reason, and the common people shall not eat delicacies without reason. The common people shall not eat more delicacies than animals, the clothes for banquets shall not exceed the clothes for offering sacrifices, and the sleeping places shall not exceed the temples.
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
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