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In mourning, one should only look at the deceased but not answer; in mourning of the same age, one should answer but not speak; in mourning of the great merit, one should speak but not discuss; in mourning of the minor merit, one should discuss but not enjoy music. This is the expression of grief in speech.
Morality, benevolence and righteousness cannot be achieved without propriety, and teaching and correcting customs cannot be achieved without propriety. When resolving disputes, do not make the decision without proper etiquette. The relationship between the ruler and his subjects, father and son, and brothers cannot be determined without propriety. When an official studies or serves a teacher, he should not be close to him without proper etiquette. When Ban Chao governs the army and takes office to enforce the law, he must act with propriety and dignity. Praying to temples and offering sacrifices to ghosts and gods are not polite, sincere or solemn. Therefore, a gentleman is respectful, frugal, and yielding in order to show courtesy. Parrots can speak, but they are still birds; orangutans can speak, but they are still animals. People nowadays are rude, even if they can speak, don鈥檛 they have the heart of beasts? Only animals are so undisciplined that fathers and sons live together. Therefore, the sages created rituals to teach people. Teach people to be polite and know how to distinguish themselves from animals.
The guests went to Chen Taiqiu to stay overnight, and Taiqiu asked Yuanfang and Jifang to cook. The guest was discussing with Taiqiu, and the two of them brought in fire, both of them were silent and eavesdropping. I forgot to use chopsticks and spatula when cooking, and the rice fell into the pot. Taiqiu asked, "Why don't you cook with steam?" Yuanfang and Jifang knelt down and said, "Your Excellency was talking with a guest, and we were eavesdropping. We forgot to bring chopsticks and a basket when cooking, and now the rice has become porridge." Taiqiu said, "Do you know anything about it?" They replied, "I just remember it." The two men spoke at the same time and took turns to talk, without losing anything. Taiqiu said: "In this case, just eating rice is enough, why do we need rice?"
After Ren Kai lost his power, he no longer disciplined himself. Someone asked He Qiao, "Why did you sit by and watch Yuan Pei fail without helping?" He said, "Yuan Pei is like Beixia Gate, which is about to fall apart. It cannot be supported by a single piece of wood."
Wang Anfeng suffered hardships, but he still had an extraordinary character. Pei Ling went to offer condolences and said, "If grief can really hurt people, Jun Chong will surely be criticized for destroying his character."
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