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When Zigong asked about mourning, Confucius said, "Respect is the best, grief is the next, and thinness is the worst. The color of the face reflects the feelings; the sorrowful expression reflects the clothes." When asked about the mourning of brothers, Confucius said, "The mourning of brothers is recorded in the books and strategies. "A gentleman does not take away the mourning of others, nor should he take away his own mourning. Confucius said: "Shaolian and Dalian are good at mourning. They do not get tired for three days and do not stop for three months. They are sad for a long time and worried for three years. They are the sons of Dongyi. ”
Xi Jiabin said to Xie Gong: "Although I did not kneel down to talk deeply, my thoughts were profound." He also said: "Youjun visited Jiabin." Jiabin heard it and said: "They cannot be called visits, but they can be called friends!" Xie Gong thought Jiabin's words were right.
When a person dies, he should not be idle for three days, and he should not be relieved for three months. He should be sad for three years, and he should be worried for three years - this is the killing of grace. The sage uses killing to control moderation, and this is why mourning lasts for three years. The wise should not go beyond the limit, and the unworthy should not fail to reach the limit. This is the mean of mourning, and it is what the king always does. The Book of Documents says: "Emperor Gaozong was lenient and did not speak for three years." This is good; all kings should follow this ritual. Why is it good for him alone? It is said: Emperor Gaozong was Wu Ding; Wu Ding was a wise king of the Yin Dynasty. He succeeded the throne and was kind and good at mourning. At this time, the Yin Dynasty declined and revived, and rituals were abolished and revived, so he did it well. Because it was good, it was recorded in the book and praised, so he was called Emperor Gaozong. During the three-year mourning, the king did not speak. The Book of Documents says: "Emperor Gaozong was lenient and did not speak for three years." This is what it means. However, those who say "speaking without culture" refer to the ministers.
Zixia had just finished mourning and came to see me. I played the zither, but it didn't harmonize, and it didn't make any sound when I played it. He stood up and said, "I have not forgotten my grief. The ancient kings established the rites, and I dare not go beyond them."
In the case of parents' funeral, after the funeral, people cry, and the pillars, lintels and screens are cut, and do not wear sackcloth or bees; after a period of time, a small funeral is held, people live in a whitened room, and sleep on mats; after another period of time, a big funeral is held, people live and sleep again; in the middle of the month, people mourn, and use a bed.
Ziyun: "When a villain is poor, he is prudent; when rich, he is arrogant; when prudent, he steals; when arrogant, he is disorderly." Rites are rules and regulations based on human nature, which are used to censor the people. Therefore, the sages set rules for wealth and nobility so that the rich will not be arrogant, the poor will not be prudent, and the noble will not be dissatisfied with the superiors, so disorder will be eliminated. Ziyun: "If the poor love music, the rich love rites, and the people are peaceful, the world will be almost there. The Book of Songs says: 'People are greedy and disorderly, and would rather be poisoned. '" Therefore, it is stipulated that the country should not exceed a thousand chariots, the capital should not exceed a hundred chariots, and the family should not be rich. With this rule, the princes still rebel.
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