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The lowly should not mourn the noble, the young should not mourn the old, this is the etiquette. Only the emperor should be mourned by calling the heaven. The princes mourning each other is not etiquette.
The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
Meng Xianzi was mourning, but he hung his head but didn't enjoy himself, and he played the harp but didn't enter. The Master said, "Xianzi is one level higher than others!"
When Emperor Wu was about to lecture on the Book of Filial Piety, Xie Gong and his brothers had the lecture in private with others. Che Wuzi was very reluctant to ask for thanks, so he said to Yuan Yang, "If I don't ask, my good reputation will be missed; if I ask too much, I will have to thank you twice." Yuan Yang said, "I don't think so." Che asked, "How do you know?" Yuan Yang said, "Have you ever seen a bright mirror get tired of reflecting too many times, or a clear stream get scared of a benevolent breeze?"
Xie Youyu said to Zhou Hou: "You are like a tree of the altar. From a distance, you can see it is majestic and touching the blue sky. But when you look at it closely, you can see that its roots are supported by foxes, and there is nothing but chaos below!" He replied: "The branches are touching the blue sky, but that does not make you feel high; the foxes are making a mess below, but that does not make you feel dirty. You are protecting the chaos, so how can you boast of yourself?"
In the court, talk about etiquette, and answer with etiquette when asked about etiquette. At the grand feast, do not ask for divination, and do not be extravagant.
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