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Zeng Zi asked: "The girl is on the road when the groom's parents die, what should be done?" Confucius said: "The girl changes her clothes to a deep cloth and a white cloth to go to the funeral. If the girl is on the road and her parents die, she should return. "If the man-to-be comes to marry the daughter, but the daughter has not yet arrived, and there is a mourning ceremony of Qisui Dagong, what should be done?" Confucius said: "If the man does not come, he should change his clothes to the outer place; if the woman comes, she should change her clothes to the inner place; then she should take the throne and cry." Zengzi asked: "After the mourning is over, will the wedding ceremony be repeated?" Confucius said: "Sacrifice is not offered after the time is up, it is a ritual; why go back to the beginning?" Confucius said: "The family of marrying a daughter does not extinguish the candles for three nights, thinking of the separation. The family of marrying a daughter does not play music for three days, thinking of the successor. After three months, the temple is visited, which is called the coming daughter. Choose a day to offer sacrifices to the gods, which is the meaning of completing the daughter." Zengzi asked: "If the daughter dies before the temple is visited, what should be done?" Confucius said: "Do not move to the ancestors, do not bury her with the emperor's aunt, the man-to-be does not stick, do not give her money, and do not bury her in order, and return her to the party of the daughter's family to show that she is not a complete daughter." Zengzi asked: "Marry a daughter, on an auspicious day, and she dies, what should be done? "Confucius said, "A son-in-law mourns in the age of mourning, and removes the mourning after the burial. The same is true for a husband's death." Zengzi asked, "There are two orphans in a funeral, and two masters in a temple. Is this a ritual?" Confucius said, "There is no two suns in the sky, no two kings on earth, and there is no two superiors in the sacrifices to the suburbs. I don't know if it is a ritual. In the past, Duke Huan of Qi hurriedly raised his army and pretended to be a master. When he returned, he hid in the ancestral temple. The temple has two masters, which started with Duke Huan. The two orphans in a funeral, it was in the past when Duke Ling of Wei went to Lu and encountered the funeral of Ji Huanzi. The King of Wei asked for condolences, but Duke Ai declined and was not allowed to do so. The Duke was the master and the guest condoled. Kangzi stood on the right side of the door, facing north; the Duke bowed and yielded, ascended from the east steps, and faced west; the guest ascended from the west steps to condole. The Duke bowed, stood up, and cried; Kangzi bowed and bowed his head in his seat, and the officials did not argue. The two orphans today are the fault of Ji Kangzi. ”

Confucius said, "Rituals are what the people in the streets indulge in. They make the differences between the people and make them have no suspicion. They serve as rules for the people." Therefore, men and women do not have intercourse without a matchmaker, and do not meet without money, fearing that there will be no difference between men and women. With this, the people in the streets still offer themselves. The Book of Songs says, "How can you cut wood? Without an axe, you cannot do it; how can you marry? Without a matchmaker, you cannot get it; how can you plant hemp? You follow her across the field; how can you marry a wife? You must tell her parents." Confucius said, "Do not marry a wife with the same surname, so as to distinguish them." Therefore, if you do not know the surname of a concubine when buying one, you should consult a fortune teller. Because of this people, the Spring and Autumn Annals of Lu still removed the surname of the lady and called her Wu, and her death was called Mengzi's death. Confucius said: "In the ritual, men and women do not exchange titles except for sacrifices." Because of this people, Yang Hou still killed Mu Hou and stole his wife. Therefore, the ritual of the lady was abolished at the grand feast. Confucius said: "If you don't see the son of a widow, you will not be friends with her. The gentleman keeps a distance from her." Therefore, when making friends, if the host is not at home, you will not enter her house unless there is a major reason. Because of this people, the people still value beauty more than virtue. Confucius said: "Love virtue is like love beauty." The princes did not go below the temptation of beauty. Therefore, the gentleman kept a distance from beauty as a rule for the people. Therefore, men and women do not touch each other. When you touch a woman, you should offer your left hand. If the daughter of a aunt, sister or daughter returns after marriage, men should not sit at the same table with her. A widow should not cry at night. If a woman is sick, you should not ask about her illness. Because of this people, the people are still licentious and chaotic in the clan. Confucius said: "At a wedding, the groom personally welcomes the bride and greets the uncle and aunt. The uncle and aunt pass the bride to the groom, fearing that the matter will go wrong." Because of this, some women still do not attend.

When serving, you must leave the seat; if you don’t leave, you must leave the party of the king. If you don’t go to the front to get on the seat, it is called jumping the seat. If you sit alone and don’t use the full length of the mat, read and eat, then level, and the bowl is one foot away from the mat. If you give food to someone and the king is the guest, then order him to offer sacrifices, and then offer sacrifices; first eat, argue and taste the food, drink and wait. If there is anyone who wants to taste food, he should wait until the king has finished eating, then eat, eat, drink and wait. If the king orders food, and food is close to him, he should order him to taste it, and then he will eat what he wants. Whenever you eat food far away, you must follow the food near you. You dare not eat before the king covers his hands; after the king has eaten, he eats and eats, and eating and eating is three meals. After the king has finished, he takes the rice and sauce, and then leaves and gives it to the followers. Whenever you serve food, you don’t eat everything; you don’t get full from eating from others. Only water and porridge are not offered as a sacrifice, and if you offer it as a sacrifice, it is humiliating for your peers. If the king gives you a cup, you should cross the table and bow twice to receive it, and then go up to the table to offer it. Drink the cup and wait for the king to finish the cup, and then give the empty cup. When a gentleman drinks, he will be ashamed when he receives one cup, and he will talk about it after two cups. After three cups, he will leave with a smile. When he leaves, he will sit down and take his shoes, and then take his shoes away. When sitting on the left, he will take the right, and when sitting on the right, he will take the left. All vessels must be served with dark wine, only the emperor's vessel is served, only the common people are served with wine, the side vessels of the officials are served with a wooden pole, and the side vessels of the scholars are served with a ban.




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更新时间:2025-03-15

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