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King Sima Jing went on an expedition to the east and captured Li Xi of Shangdang and made him a Zhonglang Attendant. He then asked Xi, "My father invited you to come, but you refused. Now I am calling you. Why did you come?" Xi replied, "My father treated me with courtesy, so I was able to advance and retreat with courtesy. You are a man of law, and I came here out of fear of the law!"
The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
When Sun Chuo first wrote Fu Suichu, he built a house by the ditches and rivers, and said that he saw the point of stopping only when he was satisfied. There is a pine tree planted in front of the room, why do I need to dam it myself? Gao Shiyuan was also a neighbor at the time. He said to Sun: "The pine tree is indeed lovely, but it will never be of any use as a pillar of support." Sun said: "Even if the maple and willow trees can be hugged, what good are they?"
Zixia asked Confucius, "What should I do if I am the enemy of my parents?" Confucius said, "Sleep on straw and use dry wood as pillow, do not serve in the government, and do not share the world with them; if you meet them in the market, do not fight with them." He said, "What should I do if I am the enemy of my brothers?" Confucius said, "Serve in the government and do not share the country with them; if I am sent by the king, I will not fight with them even if I meet them." He said, "What should I do if I am the enemy of my uncle and brothers?" Confucius said, "If I am not the leader, if the host is capable, I will hold the weapon and accompany them behind."
Liu Ling was always indulging in drinking and being unrestrained. Sometimes he would take off his clothes and walk naked in the house, and people would laugh at him. Ling said: "I use the heaven and earth as my building, and my house as my clothes. Why do you want to enter my army?"
Morality, benevolence and righteousness cannot be achieved without propriety, and teaching and correcting customs cannot be achieved without propriety. When resolving disputes, do not make the decision without proper etiquette. The relationship between the ruler and his subjects, father and son, and brothers cannot be determined without propriety. When an official studies or serves a teacher, he should not be close to him without proper etiquette. When Ban Chao governs the army and takes office to enforce the law, he must act with propriety and dignity. Praying to temples and offering sacrifices to ghosts and gods are not polite, sincere or solemn. Therefore, a gentleman is respectful, frugal, and yielding in order to show courtesy. Parrots can speak, but they are still birds; orangutans can speak, but they are still animals. People nowadays are rude, even if they can speak, don’t they have the heart of beasts? Only animals are so undisciplined that fathers and sons live together. Therefore, the sages created rituals to teach people. Teach people to be polite and know how to distinguish themselves from animals.
Xu Xuandu hid in a secluded cave in the south of Yongxing, and often received gifts from princes from all directions. Someone said to Xu: "I have heard that the man from Jishan is not like that!" Xu said: "The baskets and boxes are just a few straw, so they should be lighter than the treasures in the world!"
Wang Ziyou once stayed temporarily in someone else's empty house and asked him to plant bamboo. Someone asked, "Why do you bother to stay here for a while?" Wang Xiao chanted for a long time, pointed to the bamboo and said, "How can I live without you for even a day?"
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