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The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
When Zhao's mother married her daughter off, she warned her daughter before she left, "Be careful not to do good things!" The daughter said, "If I can't do good things, can I do evil things?" The mother said, "If I can't do good things, how can I do evil things?"
》 says: "Filial sons are not lacking." Confucius said: "To be harmonious with the party of parents can be called filial. Therefore, the gentleman uses harmony to unite the clan." The Book of Songs says: "This makes brothers more than enough; not to be so, brothers will be more friendly."
Xie Youyu said: "My friend Wang Meizi is clear and fluent, Ji Yanzu is broad-minded, elegant and profound, and Dong Zhongdao is outstanding and well-mannered."
Zeng Zi asked, “The ministers and officials will prepare the corpse for the Duke, and they will receive the funeral rites overnight, but there is mourning in the mourning clothes. What should we do?” Confucius said, “When the corpse is taken out, it should be kept in the palace to wait for the funeral. This is the etiquette.” Confucius said, “When the corpse is taken out with a hat and a crown, the ministers, officials, and scholars should all get out of the way. The corpse must be arranged in a proper manner and must be led in front.” Zixia asked, “Is it the etiquette that the mourning period of three years is over and there is no need to avoid the funeral rites? Was there a supervisor at the beginning?” Confucius said, “The three-year mourning period of the Xia Dynasty was over, and the funeral rites were held after the funeral. The Yin people held the funeral rites after the burial. The Records says, ‘A gentleman does not deprive others of their relatives, and one should not deprive them of their relatives.’ Is this what it means?” Zixia said, “There is no need to avoid the funeral rites, is it not? Confucius said, "I heard Lao Dan say that Duke Boqin of Lu did it for a purpose. I don't know who is following the benefit of the three-year mourning period now!"
Mr. Zhu was transferred to the position of Taiwei's secretary and military officer by Zhang'anling. His name was well-known but his position was low, so not many people knew him. The Duke went out to the east, took a passenger ship, and sent several old officials to stay at Qiantang Pavilion. At that time, Chen Chong of Wuxing was the county magistrate. He was supposed to see off a guest to Zhejiang. After the guest left, the clerk at the pavilion drove the official to move to the cowshed. When the tide came, Chen Ling stood up and hesitated, and asked, "What's under the cowshed?" The official said, "Yesterday a poor man came to stay in the pavilion. We have distinguished guests, so we moved him away." The Ling was drunk and asked from a distance, "Would you like some cakes? What's your surname? Can we talk?" Chu raised his hand and answered, "Chu Jinye from Henan." People far and wide had known Chu's name for a long time, so the Ling was very anxious and did not dare to move him away, so he went to the Chu with a letter under the cowshed. He slaughtered more meat and prepared food, and presented it before the Duke, and then he whipped the clerk at the pavilion to apologize for his shame. The Duke drank and feasted with him, and his words and expressions remained the same, as if he was unaware of anything. Order to escort the Duke to the border.
Gu Mengzhu once offered wine to Zhou Boren, but Boren refused to accept it. Gu Yinyi persuaded Zhu and said to Zhu, "How can you become a pillar of society just by yourself?" Zhou was delighted and they became confidants.
Duke Xian of Wei fled and returned to Wei. When he reached the suburbs, he was about to arrange the city with his followers before entering. Liuzhuang said, "If everyone guards the altar of the state, who will hold the reins and follow; if everyone follows, who will guard the altar of the state? If the king returns to his country and has private interests, isn't it wrong?" He did not arrange the city.
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