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Respect, prudence, and correctness before treating each other with affection, is the general principle of etiquette, and it is the way to establish the distinction between men and women, and the righteousness of husband and wife. There is a distinction between men and women, and then there is righteousness between husband and wife; there is righteousness between husband and wife, and then there is affection between father and son; there is affection between father and son, and then there is affection between ruler and minister. Correct. Therefore, it is said that the wedding ceremony is the root of etiquette.
To congratulate a man on marrying, he said: "So-and-so made me know that you have a guest, which made me ashamed."
Even if the food for funerals is bad, it must satisfy hunger. It is not proper to stop work when hungry; it is also not proper to forget to mourn when full. A gentleman is worried about those who cannot see clearly, hear well, walk straight, and do not know how to mourn. Therefore, if a person is sick and drinks alcohol and eats meat, he will not be sick at the age of 50, and will not be sick at the age of 60. If he drinks alcohol and eats meat at the age of 70, it is all because he is suspected of death. In mourning, if someone calls him to eat, he will not go. For those who have done great deeds or less, after the funeral, they will go to the people, and people will eat it. Those who are his party will eat it, but those who are not his party will not eat it. For those who have done less deeds, they will eat vegetables and fruits, and drink water and soup, but no salt or cheese. If you cannot eat food, salt and cheese are fine. Confucius said: "If you have a sore on your body, you should bathe; if you have a wound on your head, you should wash your body; if you are sick, you should drink alcohol and eat meat. If you are sick, you will be sick, and a gentleman will not do it. If you die of sickness, a gentleman will say that you have no children. 鈥
The king, Liu and Duke Huan went to Fuzhou Mountain to watch. After drinking, Liu put his feet on Duke Huan's neck. Duke Huan could not bear it any more and pushed it away with his hand. After returning, Wang Changshi said to Liu: "Can he be compared to others?"
Xie Huer was a writer and once wrote the biography of Wang Kan. I don鈥檛 know what kind of person I am, so I ask Mr. Xie for advice. Xie Gong replied, "The descendants of the family were also treated well. Kan is the son of Lie, the aunt's brother of Ruan Qianli, and Pan Anren is a middle-class man. As Anren's poem says, 'Your son is close to your aunt, and my father is only my uncle.' He is Xu Yun's son-in-law."
Someone asked Gu Changkang: "How does your Zheng Fu compare to Ji Kang's Qin Fu?" Gu said: "Those who don't appreciate it will pass it down after it is written. Those who have deep knowledge will also value it for its elegance and uniqueness."
The senior officials lower their concubines鈥 sons, and their grandchildren do not lower their fathers. Senior officials do not preside over the mourning of scholars. There is no mourning for the parents of the loving mother. If the husband is the descendant, his wife is the great merit of the uncle and aunt. If the scholar is buried with the senior officials, the sacrifice is changed. If the stepfather does not live with him, he must live with him once. There is no master descendant. Sharing wealth and offering sacrifices to the ancestors is considered living together; if there is a master descendant, it is considered living separately. Those who mourn for their friends should face south to the right outside the door. Those who are buried with their parents do not use divination to predict their house. Scholars and officials cannot be buried with princes. They can be buried with their grandfathers. For scholars and officials, their wives are buried with their aunts and grandparents, and their concubines are buried with their grandparents. If they die, the first and second sons can be buried with them. They must be buried according to the order of the ancestors. Princes cannot be buried with the emperor. The emperor, princes, and officials can be buried with scholars.
Ziyun: "The etiquette of the guest always advances to show respect, and the funeral etiquette always adds distance." Bathing in the middle stream, eating under the window, small burial inside the door, large burial on the east side, funeral in the guest seat, ancestral worship in the courtyard, burial in the tomb, so as to show distance. The Yin people mourned at the grave, and the Zhou people mourned at home, showing that the people were not rebellious. Ziyun: "Death is the final service of the people, I follow Zhou." Because of this, there are still princes who died without burial. Ziyun: "Ascending from the guest steps, receiving condolences at the guest seat, teaching the people to pursue filial piety." Not calling the king before the death shows that the people are not quarrelsome. Therefore, the "Spring and Autumn Annals" of Lu recorded the funeral of Jin and said: "Kill the son of the king Xiqi and his king Zhuo." Because of this, there are still sons who kill their fathers.
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