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In mourning, one should only look at the deceased but not answer; in mourning of the same age, one should answer but not speak; in mourning of the great merit, one should speak but not discuss; in mourning of the minor merit, one should discuss but not enjoy music. This is the expression of grief in speech.
The three-year mourning is finished, and the mourning of the period is finished. After the funeral, the old hemp belt is worn, and the mourning of the period is worn. The mourning of the great mourning is also the same. For the small mourning, there is no change.
Someone asked: "Why do those who don't wear a cap wear it?" The answer is: It is what those who don't wear a cap wear. The Book of Rites says: "A boy does not wear mourning clothes, but only wears mourning clothes in the house." "Wearing clothes" means to be exempted, and in the house, he is exempted and caned.
Duke Dai went out from the east, and Taifu Xie went to see him. Xie Ben wore it lightly, and only met him to discuss musical instrument and books. Dai was not stingy and his discussion of the zither and calligraphy became even better. Xie Youran knew his capacity.
Zhongni tasted it, offering sacrifices to his parents was sincere, and his steps were hurried and counted. After the sacrifice, Zi Gan asked, "When you said sacrifice, it was full of people and clear. But now your sacrifice is not full of people and clear. Why is that?" Confucius said, "Full of people means that one is far away; clear of people means that one is self-reflective. If one is far away, or if one is self-reflective, how can the gods communicate with each other, and how can there be full of people and clear of people? Feedback, music is complete, offer the offerings, arrange the rituals and music, and prepare all the officials. A gentleman is full of people and clear of people, how can he be confused? Is there only one thing to say? Everyone has his own duties."
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