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Zeng Zi asked: "After the wedding ceremony, the money is paid and there is an auspicious day, if the girl's parents die, what should be done?" Confucius said: "The husband sends condolences. If the husband's parents die, the girl's family also sends condolences. Father's death is called father, mother's death is called mother. If parents are not alive, uncle's mother is called. After the husband is buried, the husband's uncle tells the girl: 'So-and-so's son has lost his parents, and cannot be a brother, so-and-so tells the girl.' The girl agrees, but dares not marry. This is rite. The husband is exempted from mourning. The girl's parents send people to invite him, but the husband refuses to accept him, and then he marries her. This is rite. If the girl's parents die, the husband also does the same. "
Jianwen was the prime minister and it took years of work before he was able to get the job. Duke Huan was very worried about his delay and often urged him to cancel it. Taizong said: "There are so many things to do in one day, how can we be quick?"
He Piaoqi was the governor of Kuaiji, and Yu Cun's younger brother Jian was the county chief clerk. As He was exhausted from seeing guests, he wanted to report to the regular guests and asked his family members to restrain themselves and select those who were acceptable to him, and then report to Yu Cun. Cun Shi was Shangzuo He, who was having dinner with Jian. He said, "The funeral is very good. Wait until I finish eating and then tell me." After the meal, he took a pen and wrote the funeral, saying, "If I can find a family leader like Guo Linzong, I will do as you say. Where did you find this person?" Jian stopped there.
Luo You was an official in Jingzhou, and Huan Xuanwu was the king's cavalry and carriage assembly. The friend came in and sat for a long time, then left. Xuanwu said, "You wanted to consult me about something, why did you leave so quickly?" He replied, "My friend heard that mutton is delicious, but he has never had the chance to eat it in his life, so he came here without asking. There is nothing to consult you about. Now I am full, so there is no need for you to stay." He showed no shame at all.
If the eldest son is given a stick, his son will not take the position with the stick. For a wife, if the parents are alive, do not use a stick, do not bow the head. If the mother is alive, do not bow the head. Bowing the head means bowing in the gift. If you disobey the senior official of the princes, you will not return to wear clothes.
Duke Ai wanted to set up a "bo" for the funeral of Ru Zi Yu, and asked Youruo. Youruo said: "It's OK. Your three ministers also set up a "bo"." Yan Liu said: "The emperor rides a dragon carriage and a coffin curtain, and the princes ride a carriage and set up a curtain - the "bo" was set up for Yu Shen; the three ministers abandoned the carriage and set up a "bo", which is not in accordance with etiquette. Why do you learn from it!"
There are three reasons for not mourning a death: fear, disgust, and drowning.
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