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The way of the gentleman is expensive and hidden. The foolishness of a husband and wife can be understood, but when it reaches the extreme, even a sage will not know it. The unworthy husband and wife can do something, but when it reaches the extreme, even a sage will not be able to do it. The universe is so big, but people still have something to regret. Therefore, when a gentleman speaks big, no one in the world can contain it; when he speaks small, no one in the world can break it. The Book of Songs says, "The kite flies to the sky, and the fish leaps in the deep." It means that he is observant of everything. The way of a gentleman starts with husband and wife, and when it reaches the extreme, he observes the universe.
Du Yu was appointed General Zhennan, and all the court officials arrived and sat on the couches. There was also Pei Shuze at that time. Yang Zhishu arrived later and said, "Du Yuankai is sitting as a guest on the couch again!" He refused to sit down and left. Du asked Pei to chase him, but the sheep stopped their horses after going a few miles, and then they both returned to Duxu.
Therefore, the teaching of ritual is subtle, and it can stop evil before it takes shape, making people move towards good and stay away from crimes without knowing it. That is why the ancient kings respected it. The Book of Changes says: "A gentleman should be cautious at the beginning, and the error of a millimeter will lead to a thousand miles." This is what it means.
Xie Zhonglang was Wang Lantian's son-in-law. He once wore a white silk scarf and went to Yangzhou to listen to the king's affairs. He said frankly: "People say that you are stupid, but you believe that you are stupid." Lantian said: "It is true that there is no such opinion, but it is too late."
The funeral of the deceased below the standard of mourning is not allowed: first go to the tomb, face west and cry out loud, remove the hemp cloth, face east, take the throne, cry and dance with the host, and then take the throne. If there is a guest, the host will bow to the guest and see him off; if there is a guest who arrives later, the host will bow to him as before. The attendant will tell them that the matter is over. Then he will wear a crown and go home, enter the door on the left, face north and cry out loud, remove the hemp cloth, then take the throne in the east, bow to the guest and dance. When the guest leaves, the host will bow to see him off. After crying again, the host will not bare the hemp cloth, then dance; after crying for the third time, the host will not bare the hemp cloth, then dance. After three days, the mourning period will be completed, and after crying for the fifth time, The lord of the house reported that the matter was completed.
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