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When Ruan Bubing lost his mother, Pei Linggong went to offer condolences. Ruan Fang was drunk, sat on the bed with his hair loose, and did not cry. Pei arrived, sat on the ground, cried and mourned, and then left. Someone asked Pei, "In a condolence ceremony, the host cries and the guests perform the rituals. Since Ruan didn't cry, why did you cry?" Pei said, "Ruan is an outsider, so he doesn't respect rituals. We are ordinary people, so we take rituals as our own." People at that time sighed that he had achieved the best of both worlds.
Women who are not in mourning for three years should not go beyond their fiefdoms to offer condolences. If they are in mourning for three years, then the wife of the ruler will return home.
You won’t feel full if you eat together, and you won’t get your hands wet if you eat together. Do not knead the rice, do not let the rice fall, do not drink it out of the water, do not chew the food, do not gnaw the bones, do not eat fish or meat, and do not throw bones to dogs. Do not hold on to what you have gained, and do not show off your food. Do not use chopsticks to eat rice and millet. Do not spit on the soup, do not make the soup gurgling, do not prick your teeth, and do not swallow fishy food. The guest was eating soup, but the host could not accept it. The guest drank the meat, and the host declined. Moist meat is chewy, but dry meat is not chewy. Do not suck or roast.
The brothers Wang Ziyou and Zijing appreciated the descendants of the great scholar and praised him together. Zi Jing admired Jing Dan's nobleness, and Zi You said, "I am not as scornful as Chang Qing."
Xi Zaochi had extraordinary talent in history, but Xuanwu valued him very much and appointed him as the governor of Jingzhou when he was less than 30 years old. Zaochi also wrote in his letter of thanks, saying, "If I hadn't met you, I would have been an old official in Jingzhou!" Later, he went to the capital to see Jianwen and returned to the capital. Xuanwu asked him, "How was it like to meet the Prince of Xiang?" He replied, "I have never seen such a man in my life!" From then on, he disobeyed the emperor's order and was banished to Hengyang County, where his nature and reason became distorted. While he was ill, he still wrote the Spring and Autumn Annals of Han and Jin, and his comments were outstanding.
When Jia Chong first formulated laws and decrees, he and Yang Hu consulted with Grand Tutor Zheng Chong. Chong said, "Gao Yao's strict and righteous intention is beyond the reach of my cowardice." Yang said, "The emperor wants us to have a little more progress." Chong then gave his consent.
In the funeral of a king, if there is no small burial, he will leave as a guest of the duke; in the funeral of an official, if there is no small burial, he will leave at the order of the king; in the funeral of a scholar, he will leave without burial for an official. Whenever the host leaves, he goes barefoot, with his hem tied to his waist and his heart beat, and descends from the west steps. The king bows to the guest of state and the minister of honor at his seat; the minister, at the king's order, meets him outside the bedroom door; the messenger goes up to the hall to tell the death, and the host bows below; the scholar cries with the minister in person; he does not go against the door, the lady goes out for the lady of the king, the lady goes out for the lady's order, and the scholar's wife should not be buried, so the lady goes out.
Confucius stood with his disciples, bowed and tilted his head to the right, and the two disciples also tilted their heads to the right. Confucius said, "You two are fond of learning, but I am sad because my sister is dead." The two disciples all tilted their heads to the left.
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