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In mourning, one should only look at the deceased but not answer; in mourning of the same age, one should answer but not speak; in mourning of the great merit, one should speak but not discuss; in mourning of the minor merit, one should discuss but not enjoy music. This is the expression of grief in speech.
Before He Yan finished his annotations on Laozi, he met Wang Bi who was explaining the purpose of his annotations on Laozi. Why do I have so many shortcomings? I can no longer say anything, but just agree to yes. So I stopped paying attention and wrote a discussion on morality.
》 says: "Filial sons are not lacking." Confucius said: "To be harmonious with the party of parents can be called filial. Therefore, the gentleman uses harmony to unite the clan." The Book of Songs says: "This makes brothers more than enough; not to be so, brothers will be more friendly."
Even if the food for funerals is bad, it must satisfy hunger. It is not proper to stop work when hungry; it is also not proper to forget to mourn when full. A gentleman is worried about those who cannot see clearly, hear well, walk straight, and do not know how to mourn. Therefore, if a person is sick and drinks alcohol and eats meat, he will not be sick at the age of 50, and will not be sick at the age of 60. If he drinks alcohol and eats meat at the age of 70, it is all because he is suspected of death. In mourning, if someone calls him to eat, he will not go. For those who have done great deeds or less, after the funeral, they will go to the people, and people will eat it. Those who are his party will eat it, but those who are not his party will not eat it. For those who have done less deeds, they will eat vegetables and fruits, and drink water and soup, but no salt or cheese. If you cannot eat food, salt and cheese are fine. Confucius said: "If you have a sore on your body, you should bathe; if you have a wound on your head, you should wash your body; if you are sick, you should drink alcohol and eat meat. If you are sick, you will be sick, and a gentleman will not do it. If you die of sickness, a gentleman will say that you have no children. ”
The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
When Xiao Yu was dying, he proposed to let Zi Yuanke take his place. The court was worried that he would not obey orders and did not know where to send him, so they decided to use Huan Wen. Liu Yin said: "If he leaves, we will surely be able to conquer Western Chu, but I'm afraid it won't be possible to replicate it."
After Ren Kai lost his power, he no longer disciplined himself. Someone asked He Qiao, "Why did you sit by and watch Yuan Pei fail without helping?" He said, "Yuan Pei is like Beixia Gate, which is about to fall apart. It cannot be supported by a single piece of wood."
Wang Youjun and Xie Taifu climbed up Yecheng together. Xie Youran has far-reaching thoughts and lofty ambitions. The king said to Xie, "Yu of Xia worked hard for the king, his hands and feet were calloused; King Wen worked late and had no time to spare. Now there are many fortifications in the suburbs, and everyone should contribute. But empty talk will waste time, and superficial writing will hinder the important things. I am afraid it is not suitable for the present." Xie replied, "Qin appointed Shang Yang, and it perished in the second generation. Could it be that idle talk led to disaster?"
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