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When Zigong asked about mourning, Confucius said, "Respect is the best, grief is the next, and thinness is the worst. The color of the face reflects the feelings; the sorrowful expression reflects the clothes." When asked about the mourning of brothers, Confucius said, "The mourning of brothers is recorded in the books and strategies. "A gentleman does not take away the mourning of others, nor should he take away his own mourning. Confucius said: "Shaolian and Dalian are good at mourning. They do not get tired for three days and do not stop for three months. They are sad for a long time and worried for three years. They are the sons of Dongyi. 鈥
Jianwen saw rice in the field and didn't recognize it, so he asked what kind of grass it was. The answer is rice. Jianwen returned and did not come out for three days, saying: "Would you rather rely on the end than know the root?"
When asked about the age of the emperor, he should answer, 鈥淚 heard that he started to wear clothes of a certain length.鈥 When asked about the age of the king, he should answer, 鈥淚 heard that he started to wear clothes of a certain length.鈥 When asked about the age of the king, he should answer, 鈥淗e can follow the affairs of the ancestral temple and the altar of grain when he is older; he should answer, 鈥淗e cannot follow the affairs of the ancestral temple and the altar of grain when he is younger.鈥 When asked about the son of a senior official, he should answer, 鈥淗e can drive when he is older; he cannot drive when he is younger.鈥 When asked about the son of a scholar, he should answer, 鈥淗e can handle the formalities of the reception when he is older; he cannot handle the formalities of the reception when he is younger.鈥 When asked about the son of a commoner, he should answer, 鈥淗e can carry firewood when he is older; he cannot carry firewood when he is younger.鈥 When asked about the wealth of the king, he should answer, 鈥淗e can cook food with his own strength, and he does not need to use sacrificial utensils and clothes.鈥 When asked about the wealth of a scholar, he should answer, 鈥淗e can carry firewood with his own strength.鈥 When asked about the wealth of common people, they should answer by counting their livestock.
Zhong Hui was Xun Ji's northern cousin, and the two had a bad relationship. Xun had a precious sword that was worth a million dollars and was always kept by his mother, Lady Zhong. Hui was good at calligraphy and imitated Xun's handwriting. He wrote a letter to his mother asking for the sword, but the mother still stole it and never returned it. Xun Xu knew that it was Zhong but had no way of getting it, so he thought about how to repay him. Later, the Zhong brothers spent tens of millions to build a house. When it was completed, it was very magnificent, but they were not allowed to move in. Xun was very good at painting, so he secretly went to paint the Zhongmen Hall, making the image of the Taifu, with his clothes and appearance as he usually is. When the second bell sounded inside, he was filled with grief and the house became deserted.
When Shan Gong met Ji and Ruan, they became close friends. Shan's wife, Han, noticed that the relationship between the Duke and the other two was different from usual, so she asked the Duke about it. The Duke said, 鈥淭he only two men I could be friends with in those days were these two!鈥 His wife said, 鈥淔u Ji鈥檚 wife also watched Hu and Zhao in person and wanted to spy on them. Is that okay?鈥 The next day, the two men came, and his wife advised the Duke to stay with them for the night and prepared some wine and meat. I climbed through the wall at night to look at it, and forgot to return until dawn. The Duke came in and asked, "What do you think of these two?" His wife said, "Your talent is far inferior to mine. We should just be friends because of our understanding." The Duke said, "They also always think I am better than them in understanding."
The Master said: "Listen carefully! The three women, I told you: there are still nine etiquettes, and four great feasts. If you know this, even if you do it in the fields, you will be a sage. When two kings meet, they bow and yield to each other before entering the door, and then they go up to the hall after bowing and yielding to each other, and then the music stops. They play Xiang and Wu, Xia and Yue in sequence. They set out their offerings, arrange their rituals and music, and prepare their hundreds of officials. Only in this way can a gentleman know benevolence. He follows the rules and returns to the rules, and he is in harmony with the phoenix. When a guest leaves, he is in harmony with the phoenix, and he is in harmony with the feathers. Therefore, a gentleman knows everything in etiquette. When he enters the door, the sound of gold is made to show his feelings. When he rises to sing Qingmiao, he is indebted to his virtue. When he goes down to play Xiang, he is indebted to his deeds. Therefore, the gentlemen of ancient times did not need to talk to each other in person, but only showed each other etiquette and music.
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