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Someone asked, "Why do people bury their parents after three days of death?" The answer is: filial sons are sad and resentful when their parents die, so they crawl on the ground and cry, as if they will be resurrected, how can they be taken away and buried. Therefore, it is said that the funeral is held after three days, in order to wait for the body to be reborn. If the body is not reborn after three days, it is also dead. The filial son's heart will also be weakened; the family plan and clothing can also be completed; the distant relatives can also come. Therefore, the sages made a decision to set a three-day ritual system.
Kong Pushe was the attendant of Emperor Xiaowu, and was invited to visit Emperor Liezong's tomb in advance. Kong was the Minister of Rites at the time. He was thin and frail, and wore heavy mourning clothes. He cried all day long, and those who saw him thought he was a truly filial son.
People at that time said of Ruan Sikuang: "He is not as strong as Youjun in spirit, not as elegant as Zhenchang, not as graceful as Zhongzu, not as thoughtful as Yuanyuan, but he has the beauty of all of them."
Zeng Zi asked: "After the wedding ceremony, the money is paid and there is an auspicious day, if the girl's parents die, what should be done?" Confucius said: "The husband sends condolences. If the husband's parents die, the girl's family also sends condolences. Father's death is called father, mother's death is called mother. If parents are not alive, uncle's mother is called. After the husband is buried, the husband's uncle tells the girl: 'So-and-so's son has lost his parents, and cannot be a brother, so-and-so tells the girl.' The girl agrees, but dares not marry. This is rite. The husband is exempted from mourning. The girl's parents send people to invite him, but the husband refuses to accept him, and then he marries her. This is rite. If the girl's parents die, the husband also does the same. "
When Wei Si Tu Jingzi died, Zixia offered condolences. The host had not yet buried him, so he went there in mourning clothes. Ziyou went to mourn. After the host had buried him, Ziyou came out, wearing mourning clothes and crying. Zixia asked, "Did you hear that?" He said, "I heard from you, Master, that if the host has not changed his clothes, he should not wear mourning clothes." Zengzi said, "Yanzi can be said to know etiquette, and he is respectful." Youruo said, "Yanzi wore the same fox fur coat for thirty years, and sent one carriage to the tomb and returned; the king had seven carriages, and the ministers had five carriages. How could Yanzi know etiquette?" Zengzi said, "If a country is not governed by the Way, a gentleman will be ashamed to be full of etiquette. If the state is extravagant, then show it frugality; if the state is frugal, then show it etiquette.
After Wang Dun got down from the boat, he stopped at Shitou, intending to depose Emperor Ming. The guests were seated in large numbers. Dun knew that the emperor was intelligent and wanted to depose him for being unfilial. Whenever someone mentioned the emperor's unfilial behavior, they always said it was said by Concubine Wen. Wen once served as the commander of the Eastern Palace, and later became our Sima, and he knows it very well. Soon, Wen came. Dun showed his authority and asked Wen, "What kind of person is the Crown Prince?" Wen said, "A mean person cannot judge a gentleman." Dun's tone was stern, and he wanted to use his authority to make him obey him, so he asked Wen again, "Why is the Crown Prince good?" Wen said, "He is a man of deep insight, which is beyond the reach of shallow knowledge. However, he serves his parents with courtesy, which can be called filial piety."
In ancient times, teachers had private schools at home, schools in the community, and schools in the country. Students entered school at the same age and were examined in the middle of the year. In the first year, they were evaluated for their ability to distinguish between classics and aspirations; in the third year, they were evaluated for their dedication to work and their enjoyment of society; in the fifth year, they were evaluated for their extensive learning and their closeness to their teachers; in the seventh year, they were evaluated for their learning and their friendships. This was called small success; in the ninth year, they were evaluated for their ability to understand the categories and to be able to establish themselves firmly without turning back. This was called great success. Only then could they transform the people and change their customs, convince those who were close to them, and make those who were far away cherish their memory. This was the way of the university. The Records says, "The moths were taught from time to time." Is this what it means?
Zixia had just finished mourning and came to see me. I played the zither, but it didn't harmonize, and it didn't make any sound when I played it. He stood up and said, "I have not forgotten my grief. The ancient kings established the rites, and I dare not go beyond them."
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