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In funerals, we want them to be relaxed; in auspicious events, we want them to be relaxed. Therefore, even if funerals are hasty, they should not be over-ruled; even if auspicious events are delayed, they should not be lazy. Therefore, if you are too noisy, you are wild; if you are too busy, you are a mean person.
Dai Andao’s portrait paintings in his middle age were very exquisite. Yu Daoji read it and said to Dai Yun: "The gods are too vulgar, because you have not yet fully understood worldly affairs." Dai Yun: "Only Wu Guang should stop you from saying this."
The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
The two sons of Yang Huai, the governor of Jizhou, Qiao and Mao, were both born with the intention of becoming talented people. Huai was friendly with Pei Wei and Yue Guang, so he sent people to meet them. Huai was generous and open-minded. He loved Qiao's high rhyme and said to Huai, "Qiao is as good as you, but Mao is a little inferior." Guang was pure and honest. He loved Mao's prudent mind and said to Huai, "Qiao is as good as you, but Mao is even more outstanding." Huai laughed and said, "The superiority and inferiority of my two sons is the superiority and inferiority of Pei and Le." Commentators commented that although Qiao had high rhyme, he was not prudent enough; while Le's words were appropriate. However, they are both outstanding talents that came later.
The Duke said, “Why don’t gentlemen today practice this?” Confucius said, “Gentlemen today are insatiable in their love of goods, untiring in their indulgence of virtue, idle and arrogant, and are sure to destroy the people. They use the people at noon to attack those who have the Way; they seek what they want, not what they should. In the past, people were used from the front, but now people are used from the back. Gentlemen today do not practice etiquette.”
The emperor's altars and grains are all large sacrifices, while the altars and grains of the princes are all small sacrifices. The sacrifices of the officials and scholars to the ancestral temples are offered if they have land, and offered if they do not have land. The common people offer leeks in spring, wheat in summer, millet in autumn, and rice in winter. Leeks are offered with eggs, wheat with fish, millet with pigs, and rice with geese. The cattle used to offer sacrifices to heaven and earth have cocoons and chestnuts in their horns; the cattle used to offer sacrifices to the ancestral temples have horns with handles; the cattle used to offer sacrifices to guests have horns with rulers. The princes shall not kill cattle without reason, the great officials shall not kill sheep without reason, the scholars shall not kill dogs and pigs without reason, and the common people shall not eat delicacies without reason. The common people shall not eat more delicacies than animals, the clothes for banquets shall not exceed the clothes for offering sacrifices, and the sleeping places shall not exceed the temples.
The head blamed Qin Ziyu and said: "You are not as good as Wen Yong of Taiyuan, Xun Yu of Yingchuan, Zhang Hua of Fanyang, Liu Xu of Shiqing, Zou Zhan of Yiyang, and Zheng Xu of Henan. These few people are either outspoken and have no sense of rhythm or are naive and seldom talkative, or are too eloquent and have too many gestures, or are noisy and lack wisdom, or have a mouth like glue, or have a head like a pestle. But they are still impressive in their literary talent and detailed in their ideas, and they are like dragons and phoenixes, and they have all ascended to heaven."
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