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Zeng Zi asked: "After the wedding ceremony, the money is paid and there is an auspicious day, if the girl's parents die, what should be done?" Confucius said: "The husband sends condolences. If the husband's parents die, the girl's family also sends condolences. Father's death is called father, mother's death is called mother. If parents are not alive, uncle's mother is called. After the husband is buried, the husband's uncle tells the girl: 'So-and-so's son has lost his parents, and cannot be a brother, so-and-so tells the girl.' The girl agrees, but dares not marry. This is rite. The husband is exempted from mourning. The girl's parents send people to invite him, but the husband refuses to accept him, and then he marries her. This is rite. If the girl's parents die, the husband also does the same. "
Zhuge Hong was unwilling to learn when he was young. When he first talked with Wang Yifu, he already had extraordinary achievements. The king sighed and said, "You are an extremely talented person. If you study harder, you will have nothing to be ashamed of." Later, Hong read Zhuangzi and Laozi, and talked with Wang, and he was able to compete with them.
Zeng Zi asked, "When a envoy dies in his residence, etiquette says: public residences are restored, but private residences are not restored. In all countries where envoys are granted residences by officials, public residences are already public residences, so why do you say that private residences are not restored?" Confucius said, "What a good question! The homes of ministers, officials, and scholars are called private residences; public residences and official residences are called public residences. The restoration of public residences is what it means." Zeng Zi asked, "The lower dead: Tu Zhou buried in the garden, and then went there by carriage, because the road was close. Now the tomb is far away, how should it be buried?" Confucius said, "I heard Lao Dan say: In the past, Shi Yi had a son who died, which was the lower dead. The tomb was far away, and Zhao Gong asked him, 'Why don't you bury him in the palace? ' Shi Yi said, 'How dare I? ’ Duke Zhao told Duke Zhou about this, and Duke Zhou said, ‘Is it not possible?’ Shi Yi did it. The use of coffins and coffins for the deceased was first introduced by Shi Yi.
Great is the way of the sage! It is magnificent, and it develops all things, and reaches the highest point in the sky. Great is it! There are three hundred rites and three thousand awe-inspiring manners. Only when the right person is there can they act. Therefore, it is said: If one does not reach the highest virtue, the highest way will not be condensed there. Therefore, a gentleman respects virtue and morality and seeks knowledge. He strives for the great and the subtle. He is extremely wise and follows the doctrine of the mean. He reviews the old and learns the new, and is honest and respects the rites. Therefore, when in a high position, do not be arrogant, and when serving an inferior, do not be disloyal. If a country is ruled by the right way, his words will be enough to inspire it; if a country is ruled by the wrong way, his silence will be enough to tolerate it.
The Duke said, “May I ask what is meant by respecting oneself?” Confucius replied, “When a gentleman speaks too much, the people will make excuses; when he acts too much, the people will make examples. If a gentleman does not speak too much and does not act too much, the people will respect him without being ordered. In this way, he can respect himself; if he can respect himself, he can complete his parents. ”The Duke said, “May I ask what is meant by completing his parents?” Confucius replied, “A gentleman is a name for people. The people call him a son of a gentleman. This is to make their parents become gentlemen, and this is to complete their parents’ name!” Confucius then said, “In ancient times, the most important thing in governing was to love people. If you cannot love people, you cannot have your body; if you cannot have your body, you cannot be at peace with your land; if you cannot be at peace with your land, you cannot be happy with heaven; if you cannot be happy with heaven, you cannot complete your body.”
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