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Zisi said: "After three days of mourning, the coffin should be buried. Everything attached to the body must be sincere and trustworthy, and there should be no regrets. After three months, the coffin should be buried. Everything attached to the coffin must be sincere and trustworthy, and there should be no regrets. Three years of mourning is the limit, and once a person dies, he will not forget it. Therefore, a gentleman has a lifetime of worries, but no worries of one day. Therefore, he does not rejoice on the anniversary of his death."
When Ruan Bubing lost his mother, Pei Linggong went to offer condolences. Ruan Fang was drunk, sat on the bed with his hair loose, and did not cry. Pei arrived, sat on the ground, cried and mourned, and then left. Someone asked Pei, "In a condolence ceremony, the host cries and the guests perform the rituals. Since Ruan didn't cry, why did you cry?" Pei said, "Ruan is an outsider, so he doesn't respect rituals. We are ordinary people, so we take rituals as our own." People at that time sighed that he had achieved the best of both worlds.
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