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The Artistic Life of a Son-in-Law

Zai Wo said, "I have heard of the names of ghosts and gods, but I do not know what they are." Confucius said, "Qi is the flourishing of the spirit; Po is the flourishing of the ghost; the combination of ghosts and gods is the ultimate teaching. All living things must die, and after death they must return to the earth: this is called ghosts. Bones and flesh die below, and the shade becomes wild soil; their qi spreads above, becoming bright, scorching, and mournful. This is the essence of all things and the manifestation of the spirit. Based on the essence of things, it is made to the extreme, and the ghosts and gods are made clear, so that they are the example of the people. The hundreds of people fear them, and the ten thousand people obey them." The sage thought that this was not enough, so he built palaces and called them ancestral temples to distinguish between relatives and strangers, and taught the people to return to the ancient times and never forget where they were born. The people obeyed from this, so they listened and were quick. After the two ends were established, they responded with two rituals. When building court affairs, burning meat and vegetables, and showing the light of the sky, to respond to the qi. This is to teach the people to return to the beginning. Offering millet and sorghum, showing respect to the liver, lungs, head and heart, and offering chivalrous wine to the occasion, and adding yuchang wine, is to repay the soul. Teaching the people to love each other and the superiors and subordinates to use affection is the highest etiquette.

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When Prime Minister Wang crossed the river, he said that he had often talked about Taoism with Pei Chenggong, Ruan Qianli and other wise men by the Luo River. Yang Man said, "I have promised you this a long time ago, why do you need it again?" The king said, "I didn't say I needed it, I just wanted it and it was not available at that time!"

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Therefore, the rite of audience is to clarify the righteousness between the monarch and the ministers. The rite of marriage is to make the princes respect each other. The rite of funeral and sacrifice is to clarify the grace of the ministers. The rite of drinking in the village is to clarify the order of the elders and the young. The rite of marriage is to clarify the difference between men and women. Rites are the source of restraint and chaos, just like the source of water in the village. Therefore, those who destroy the old temple because they think it is useless will surely be destroyed by water; those who destroy the old ritual because they think it is useless will surely be destroyed by water.

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Those who serve should be careful, and those who carry should be belted.

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As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.