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When General Wang was at the Western Court, he saw Marquis Zhou and he fanned himself in front of his face and could not stop. After crossing the Jiangzuo River, I couldn’t get it back. The king sighed and said, "I wonder if I am advancing and Bo Ren is retreating?"
The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
Pang Shiyuan of Nanjun heard that Sima Decao was in Yingchuan, so he traveled 2,000 miles to wait for him. When they arrived, they met Decao picking mulberry leaves. Shi Yuan said to him from inside the carriage, "I heard that a man should wear gold and purple when dealing with the world. How can he bend the flood and hold the silk women's affairs?" Decao said, "Get off the carriage for now. You know how to quickly go astray, and don't worry about losing your way. In the past, Bo Cheng worked in the fields with his wife, and did not envy the glory of the princes; Yuan Xian worked in the mulberry field, and was not interested in the official house. How can one sit in a luxurious house, ride a fat horse, and have dozens of maids, and then be extraordinary? This is why Xu and Fu were generous, and why Yi and Qi sighed for a long time. Even if one had stolen the title of Qin and had a wealth of thousands of horses, it would not be valuable enough!" Shi Yuan said, "I was born in a remote area, and I have rarely seen great principles. If you don't strike the loud bell or beat the thunder drum, you won't know their sound."
Yang Fu’s younger brother married Wang Yongyan’s daughter. When Wang's family met their son-in-law, Fu sent his brother along. Shi Yongyan's father Dongyang Shang
Morality, benevolence and righteousness cannot be achieved without propriety, and teaching and correcting customs cannot be achieved without propriety. When resolving disputes, do not make the decision without proper etiquette. The relationship between the ruler and his subjects, father and son, and brothers cannot be determined without propriety. When an official studies or serves a teacher, he should not be close to him without proper etiquette. When Ban Chao governs the army and takes office to enforce the law, he must act with propriety and dignity. Praying to temples and offering sacrifices to ghosts and gods are not polite, sincere or solemn. Therefore, a gentleman is respectful, frugal, and yielding in order to show courtesy. Parrots can speak, but they are still birds; orangutans can speak, but they are still animals. People nowadays are rude, even if they can speak, don’t they have the heart of beasts? Only animals are so undisciplined that fathers and sons live together. Therefore, the sages created rituals to teach people. Teach people to be polite and know how to distinguish themselves from animals.
I'm shocked. When Xuanye completed his mission and left, Rong sighed, "All rituals and music have gone to the East." He was afraid that Xuan would become too famous and was wary of him. Xuan also suspected that he was being pursued, so he sat under the bridge and stood on the water with his clogs. Rong turned around and chased him, and told his attendants, "Xuan is under the soil and above the water, clinging to a tree. He will surely die." So they stopped chasing him, and Xuan finally escaped.
Kang Sengyuan was in Yuzhang, several dozen miles away from the city, and built a monastery. There are mountains on the side and long rivers on the side, fragrant forests line the courtyards and clear streams rush around the halls. He studied and lectured at leisure, hoping to savor the essence of his works. Many people like Yu Gong went to see him. Watching him use breathing exercises, his temperament becomes better. In addition, he was content with his situation and felt happy, so his reputation grew. Later he couldn't bear it anymore and left.
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