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Confucians tell each other about good things when they hear them, show each other good things when they see them; they are ranked first and rank first, they die together in adversity; they treat each other for a long time, and they come to each other from afar. They are like this in their appointments and appointments.
The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
Liu Zhenchang and Wang Zhongzu traveled together, and it was late in the day without any food. An acquaintance invited him to dinner, the food was very sumptuous, but he declined it. Zhong Zu said, "It's just to fill my void, why bother to refuse?" Zhen Chang said, "You can't be friends with villains."
Xie Huzi once went up to the roof to smoke rats. Since Hu'er had no way of knowing what his father had done, he heard people say, "Only a fool would do such a thing." Joking about it. The saying of the time is not the only one that can make this mistake. The Taifu realized his ignorance and, following his words, said to Hu'er, "People in the world are slandering Zhonglang for this, and also saying that I was involved in this." Hu'er was upset and stayed at home for a month without going out. The Taifu falsely cited his own mistakes to enlighten others, which can be regarded as moral teaching.
When Emperor Ming of Jin was a few years old, he sat on Emperor Yuan's lap. Someone came from Chang'an, and Emperor Yuan asked about the news from Luoxia, and burst into tears. Emperor Ming asked why he was crying. I told him my intention to cross the river to the east. He then asked Emperor Ming, "How far do you think Chang'an is compared to the sun?" He replied, "The sun is far away. Haven't you heard that people come from the side of the sun? How can you know it?" Emperor Yuan was surprised. Tomorrow I will gather all the ministers for a banquet, inform them of this intention, and ask them again. He replied, "The sun is near." The Yuan Emperor was dismayed and asked, "Why do you say something different from what you said yesterday?" He replied, "I can see the sun but not Chang'an."
Therefore, if male education is not cultivated, yang affairs cannot be achieved, and it happens to be seen in the sky, the sun is eclipsed; if female obedience is not cultivated, yin affairs cannot be achieved, and it happens to be seen in the sky, the moon is eclipsed. Therefore, when the sun is eclipsed, the emperor wears plain clothes and cultivates the duties of the six officials, and eliminates the yang affairs of the world; when the moon is eclipsed, the queen wears plain clothes and cultivates the duties of the six palaces, and eliminates the yin affairs of the world. Therefore, the emperor and the queen are like the sun and the moon, the yin and the yang, and they need each other to succeed. The emperor cultivates male education, which is the father's way; the queen cultivates female obedience, which is the mother's way. Therefore, it is said that the relationship between the emperor and the empress is like that between a father and his mother. Therefore, to wear mourning clothes for the emperor is the same as to wear mourning clothes for the father; to wear mourning clothes for the empress is the same as to wear mourning clothes for the mother.
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