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When Ruan Bubing lost his mother, Pei Linggong went to offer condolences. Ruan Fang was drunk, sat on the bed with his hair loose, and did not cry. Pei arrived, sat on the ground, cried and mourned, and then left. Someone asked Pei, "In a condolence ceremony, the host cries and the guests perform the rituals. Since Ruan didn't cry, why did you cry?" Pei said, "Ruan is an outsider, so he doesn't respect rituals. We are ordinary people, so we take rituals as our own." People at that time sighed that he had achieved the best of both worlds.
The gentleman said: "Gently accept harmony, and accept white; loyal and faithful people can learn etiquette. If there is no loyal and faithful person, etiquette will not be in vain. Therefore, it is precious to get the right person. Confucius said: "Reciting three hundred poems in the Book of Songs is not enough for one offering. The ceremony of one offering is not enough for a great feast. The ceremony of a great feast is not enough for a great group. The great group is ready, but it is not enough for the feast of the emperor." Don't discuss etiquette lightly! Zilu was the chief of Ji's family. Ji's family offered sacrifices at dusk, and when the day was not enough, they continued with candles. Even if there is a strong face and a solemn and respectful heart, they are all tired. The officials limped and leaned to attend the sacrifice, which was a great disrespect. On other days when offering sacrifices, Zilu would be present. The affairs of the inner room would be handled at the door, and the affairs of the hall would be handled at the steps. They would start their activities at dawn and leave at dusk. Confucius heard this and said, "Who says that You doesn't know etiquette?
The Master said: "King Wu and Duke Zhou, how filial they are! A filial person is good at carrying on the will of others, and is good at It is the one who tells people's affairs. In the spring and autumn, the ancestral temple is repaired, the ancestral utensils are displayed, the clothes are set, and the food is offered. The rituals of the ancestral temple are used to sort the ancestors. The order of ranks is used to distinguish the noble and the humble. The order of things is used to distinguish the virtuous. The lower is rewarded as the superior, so as to catch the humble. The feathers of swallows are used to sort the ages. To fulfill one's position, perform the rituals, play the music, respect the respected, love the loved, treat the dead as if they were alive, and treat the deceased as if they were alive, is the ultimate filial piety. The rituals of the suburbs and the community are used to serve the God. The rituals of the ancestral temple are used to worship one's ancestors. If you understand the rituals of the suburbs and the community, and the meaning of the sacrifices, governing the country will be as easy as showing it in your palm! "
Wake up early, the woman bathes and waits for the meeting; at dawn, the husband helps the woman to meet the uncle and aunt, holds a basket, dates, chestnuts, and cuts to meet, helps the woman to offer wine, and the woman offers dried meat and salted meat, and offers wine, which completes the woman's etiquette. When the uncle and aunt enter the room, the woman offers a special pig to show that the woman is obedient. At dawn, the uncle and aunt The women are feasted together with a ceremony of offering sacrifices and offerings. The uncles and aunts first descend from the west steps, and the women descend from the east steps, to show their generation.
The study of memorizing and asking questions is not enough to be a teacher. It is necessary to listen to the words, and if you can't ask them, then tell them; if you don't understand after the words, you can just give up.
A gentleman is one who is well-informed, strong in knowledge, and humble, and who is kind and not lazy. A gentleman does not exhaust people's favors or exhaust people's loyalty, but maintains friendship.
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