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As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
When Ruan Guanglu was in Shan, he had a good car and he lent it to everyone who asked for it. Someone wanted to borrow money to bury his mother but did not dare to ask. When Queen Ruan heard this, she sighed and said, "I have a carriage but people are afraid to lend it to me. What's the use of the carriage?" Then she burned it.
Fan Ning made Yuzhang, and on the eighth day he invited Buddha to have a board. The monks were puzzled and wanted to give an answer. A young novice monk at the end of the group said, "The Buddha's silence means that he has given his approval." The crowd agreed with his meaning.
Huan Cheqi is not good at picking up new clothes. After bathing, the woman gave him new clothes. The cavalry was furious and urged them to take him away. The woman brought it back and said, "The clothes are not new, so how can they be old?" Duke Huan laughed and chopped it off.
Yuan Boyan finished writing biographies of famous scholars and met Xie Gong. The Duke laughed and said, "I once told you about the affairs of Jiangbei, but I just pretended to be cunning! Yanbo then wrote it down with chopsticks."
General Wang wrote to Emperor Yuan: "Shu Feng is simple and upright, and he is a refined person. He is more profound than others. He is the one I have known since I was young. Yi Fu and Cheng said: 'You know Chu Ming and Mao Hong. Mao Hong has a good reputation, and he really matches your clear opinion. Chu Ming is close to no one who knows him. I always take your words into consideration, but I have not achieved anything. I am afraid you have regretted it.' I said with emotion: 'You have tried it with this, and only recently have people praised him.' It means that ordinary people are worried that knowing too much will lead to mistakes, and not knowing how to live up to the reality."
Kong Cheqi had always had the intention of escaping from the world since he was young. It was not until he was over 40 years old that he responded to Andong's order. Before he took up an official post, he often slept alone, sang and played music to teach himself, called himself Kong Lang, and traveled around famous mountains. The people said that he had Taoist magic and built a temple for him. There is still a Confucius Temple today.
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