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A son is named not because of his country, not because of the sun and the moon, not because of his hidden illness, not because of the mountains and rivers.
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
When Kong Junping was seriously ill, Yu Sikong was sent to Kuaiji to visit him. He asked him about his condition and even shed tears. After Yu got off the bed, Kong said with a sigh: "A real man is about to die, but instead of asking about the way to keep the country and the family safe, he pretends to be a child and asks!" When Yu heard this, he thanked him and asked him to talk.
When Yin Hao first governed Yangzhou, Liu Yin was on a journey. As the day was getting dark, he asked his attendants to fetch his bundle. People asked him why. He replied, "The governor is strict and I dare not travel at night."
Xie Wuyi has a rough and strong character. Because they were not getting along well, he went to Wang Lantian and cursed him. Wang stood facing the wall with a serious expression and dared not move for half a day. After Xie left for a long time, he turned around and asked the clerks around him, "Have you left?" They answered, "Already left." Then he sat down again. People at that time admired his impatient nature but his ability to tolerate things.
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