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Zilu said, "I heard from the Master that in funeral rituals, it is better to have more mourning than not mourning. In sacrificial rituals, it is better to have more respect than not respect."
The three brothers Wang Huangmen all went to see Xie Gong. Ziyou and Zizhong talked a lot about worldly matters, while Zijing just exchanged greetings. After he left, a guest asked Xie Gong, "Who of the three sages is better?" Xie Gong said, "The younger one is the best." The guest asked, "How do you know that?" Xie Gong said, "Auspicious people speak less, while impetuous people speak more. I can tell this by inference."
Zigong asked Confucius, "May I ask why gentlemen value jade and despise enamel? Is it because jade is scarce and enamel is plentiful?" Confucius said, "It is not because enamel is plentiful that they despise it, but because jade is scarce that they value it. In the past, gentlemen compared virtues to jade: warm and moist, it is benevolence; meticulous and fine, it is knowledge; incorruptible but not sharp, it is righteousness; hanging like a string, it is courtesy; knocking, the sound is clear and long, and it bends at the end, it is music; flaws do not cover the beauty, and beauty does not cover the flaws, it is loyalty; trustworthiness is everywhere, it is trustworthiness; aura is like a white rainbow, it is heaven; spirit is seen in mountains and rivers, it is earth; jade is outstanding, it is virtue. What is valued by all in the world is the Tao. The Book of Songs says, 'When I think of a gentleman, he is as warm as jade.' Therefore, gentlemen value it."
Sincerity is self-realization, and Tao is self-Tao. Sincerity is the beginning and end of things, without sincerity, there is nothing. Therefore, a gentleman values sincerity. Sincerity is not only for self-realization, but also for the realization of things. To perfect oneself is benevolence; to perfect things is knowledge. It is the virtue of nature, and it is the way to combine the outside and the inside, so it is appropriate to take measures at the right time.
When the princes send out their wives, the wives will come to their country with the etiquette of wives; when they arrive, they will enter with wives. The messenger was about to order, saying, "My lord is incompetent and cannot serve the altars and ancestral temples. I have sent my envoy to report this to the steward." The host replied, "My lord has already refused to teach me before. I dare not be disrespectful and must wait for your order." The officials laid out the utensils; the host's officials also received them. When the wife left, the husband sent someone to bring her back, saying, "I am incompetent and cannot serve the altars and ancestral temples. I dare not be disrespectful and must wait for your order." The host replied, "My son is unfilial. I dare not avoid punishment. I dare not be disrespectful and must wait for your order." The messenger withdrew, and the host bowed to see him off. If the uncle is alive, he should be called uncle; if the uncle is dead, he should be called brother; if there is no brother, he should be called husband. The host's resignation was, "My son is unfilial." If they were aunts or sisters, they would also be called.
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